Iqra - To Read ...

Mullah what was that deal about wanting to see the card? I asked.
What about it? – Mullah Luis responded with a grin.
Why you wanted to know if she has a library card? She is going to be your real estate broker, what a library card has got to do with it?
EVERYTHING. Mullah was confident, and right then I knew a sermon is on its way.

Everything?
Yes. I had decided long time ago not to do business with anyone who is not a reader. See people who read have some personality traits. They are compassionate, confident and open-minded and care for the whole World. They are adventurous and are not afraid to let others (authors of books) take over their brain for a few days and weeks. These are the secure people that I want to encourage and deal with all my life.

Is it not discrimination?
May be, but It is my way of doing things and I am sticking by it. Why don’t you look around and make a list of people that are readers v/s non-readers. You would know what I am talking about.

Look at the global political scene since Adam, and see what kind of a people brought misery to this already suffering world – you will be surprised my friend. For example Genghis Khan who brought so much destruction to Iraq was not a reader where as Columbus was a reader so was Gandhi. Even this is true in films; Don Carleone in Godfather was not a reader nor was Mughambo in Mr. India. Can you imagine Gabbar Singh reading Femina or War and Peace? Compare them to Dr. Zhivago, Raziya Sultana, and even Umrao “Rekha” Jaan was a reader. Did you notice in film Shakti, Ashwini Kumar, the honest DCP played by Dilip Kumar was a reader where as Vijay played by Amitabh was not.

What about our parents?
Those are the only exceptions built in this model. I do not care what people read as long as they read, be it newspapers, holy books, gossip magazines, cartoons, horoscopes, fortune cookies, sports magazines, even girlie magazines are fine by me. They must read something if they want to earn my trust and business.

Why you never asked me if I read?
I did not have to, half the time what you say comes straight out of an ideological novel and other half is cluttered with signal timings, accident data, sight distances, tangents and curves. Whatever little is left you pack it with films…

That's very deep Mullah how did you pick up this up?

Mullah gave me that mischievous smile and said " coz I READ!"

You are not alone ...

If there is one principle more deeply rooted in the mind of every American, it is that we should have nothing to do with conquest.

~Thomas Jefferson

...no mother would ever willingly sacrifice her sons for territorial gain, for economic advantage, for ideology.

~Ronald Reagan

War remains the decisive human failure.

~John Kenneth Galbraith

( Courtsey:Huffingtonpost.com and antiwar.com)

Hero, Heroine and the Jebroni...

When Mullah Luis saw this picture he wanted to know the "status" of what he referred to as the Blonde "Front Page News", and whether the Hero is on the right or left of her?

Well, I told him Kristi is in the middle for sure, and she is the Heroine (and her status is non- negotiable!). As far as the Hero is concerned – this time the Hero is in the eye of the beholder….

Vikas, Peace !

Doosra Kinara - Crew

When the US army announces it sending 1000 soldiers to Iraq, what it really means is that it is sending 329 combat troops and 671 support personnel. For every soldier fighting and taking bullets, there are two more to support him. These so-called support troops are very important for any combat operations. They are Engineers, Doctors, Psychologists, Corpsman, Mechanics, and Bomb Loaders to name a few and holds ranks ranging from Private First Class to a Colonel.

That’s how it is in making films – I reckon. For every Blonde and beautiful actress romancing her boyfriend on the screen; there are many (depending on the Paymaster) that "support" her, and make it possible for those scenes to happen jus right or as per whims and fancies of the most nervous guy on the set usually referred to as “the Director”!

Even though the folks above are part of the word “crew” they are much more than that. If weren’t for them my challenges would have had a field day. I am obliged to these and many more (…and you know who you are!) that made it possible for me to realize a long cherished dream.

A short cut to find how happy you are is to find how many friends you have. I am happy that this film multiplied my happiness by bringing closer these bunch of good-hearted people. Some of these would be my friends for life and some would move on chasing their own Doosra Kinara. However, I am happy to have known them.

Above: Sandhya Bhagat, Akansha Joshi, GiriMohan Coneti and Rafique Batcha.

BTW the folks shown here are all 4 stars Generals in their own rights. They are Tarantinos, Deepa Mehtas and Mahesh Dattanis of the future - Watch out for these faces.

Mullah Luis – Back to school…

Mullah Luis registered for some 2000 level classes at a local university this semester. I asked him, Mullah how do you feel learning accounting with students much younger than yourself. He said that he felt – vindicated.

He always prophesied a theory which he calls career @ 16, that questions the ability of a 16 year high school student to choose a career of a LFIETIME. He says at 16 you make all kinds of “hormonic” mistakes and to believe all your life that what you choose at 16 was right - is absurd. We must decide on life when we have somewhat complete information and no blinders. He adds God forbids if you decide on your life partner at 16; then you are pretty much doomed, unless you are a local Sheikh with a secret harem in Southern France!

My days have gotten more interesting with new stories and observations that he comes back with each day. I am also beginning to appreciate accounting 2000 as well. It is good to see him with a bag pack filled with books these days. He says that there are two kinds of people who use bag packs:

- Students
- Losers

As far as Mullah is concerned, I think he just got himself promoted!

Doosra Kinara - Editing

Jeff Shipman and I have two things in common. Both of us have passion for story telling and both are certified rebels. From FY 2007, I have vowed to check my tenencies to swim against the current - Jeff still is making up his mind.

Jeff is an awesome friend and an expert editor. I was amazed at his expertise of film editing and insights of human nature. How many editors can edit a film in a foreign language that too with comic scenes?

A film is made three times ( writting, filming and then editing) and I am glad that Jeff agreed to cut my film as he has kept the same vision that I had while writting it.

Jeff lives in "Trilok". If he is not on earth editing, then either he is in sky flying to Wisconsin to spend time with his girlfriend or he is 200 feet under water in Lake Lanier. Rumor has it that he is searching for his Doosra Kinara down yonder......!!!

Doosra Kinara - Cast

Life is not about two people. It involves a number of others who play "character" in your life. These good hearted people called simply "characters", add so much to your life making it live-able beyond imagination. Sometime they take away a lot without even realizing it - there is a reason it is called life!!

Barring a few most of my cast were new, and were acting for the first time. It added more challenge to the mix but in the end it all worked out fine. It invariably does.....isn't it?

Doosra Kinara - Cast

Ahmad Plays Rustom.....
Sorry, can not go further than that....

Hosla ...

Ye Hosla Kaise Jhuke ?
Ye arzoo kaise Ruke ?
Manzil Mushkil to kiya
Dhundla Sahil to kiya
Tanha ye Dil to kiya ?

Rah pe katen bikhre agar
Us pe to phir bhi chalna hi hai
Shaam chupale suraj magar
Raat ko ek din dhalna hi hai
Rut ye tal jayegi ...
Himmat rang layegi ...
Subah phir aayegi ...

Ye Hosla kaise jhuke
Ye arzoo kasie ruke?

(Mir Ali Husain in Nagesh's Dor)

Hayat ....( Zindagi)

Khird ke paas khabar ke siwa kuch aur nahi
Tera Ilaaj nazar ke siwa kuch aur nahi

Har Ek Mukaam se aage mukaam hai tera
Hayat Zoke safar ke siwa kcuh aur nahi

Urus-e-Lala munasib nahi hai mujh se hijab
Ke main naseem-e-sahar ke siwa kuch aur nahi --- Iqbal

2006 ...

Doosra Kinara - Music

II think Doosra Kinara is the only film in the World that has its music composed by a Harvard educated MBA! Apurva Shrivastava has done a splendid job and it was fun working with him.

I remember narrating the story to him for the first time; and asking him if he could come up with a signature tune with a wailing sound, preferably a fusion of east and western styles. I am very happy to see how he translated my musical vision into a great score. Music is in his blood (literally!) and he has composed awesome music scores.

Above he is with sound engineer Sandeep Savla and Oboe Player Lauren Winterbottom. Sandeep Savla is a Guru himself with two decades of sound engineering experience. He is THE soundman of Atlanta. Lauren is from music school, University of Indiana.

Doosra Kinara - Kristi Hutchinson

Kristi plays Amber Elizabeth Anderson. She is the live - in partner of Sameer. She is an awesome actress and a wonderful human being.
Education: Bachelor in Fine Arts
Industry: Arts and Museum
What is she upto? - that is the Million Dollar Question.

Mullah Luis called..

Mullah Luis called a few minuets ago and wanted to know if " Tanha" meant " Lonley". I said yep and this exchange followed:

Shahid, cut it out man. Why are you so pessimist?
Mullah, How in the World you found time to read my blog on a Friday night and that too in Miami?
Let us stay on the topic. Why are you so pessimits man? 2006 is going to be history in a couple and you again talk of being lonely. You know what lonlines is....imagine being on south beach and without a news man. No front page news, no good news, not even bad news, nothing...am I omplaining man?
Does not sound like it.....that is lonley man... I agree...
Yeah - so stop your sob stories man. You do not know what awaits you in 2007. Do me a favor, will ya....? delete that negative post and write anything else instead...

and he went on and on....so here I am, writting again.
"Hue tum dost jis ke "..as a wise man said.

Tanhaa...

Just got back from work to this empty ---empty ----damned empty apartment for n+5899 times. Some aprtments are destined to be empty I reckon. May be this is how it was meant to be - May be this is better for everyone.

I try to avoid comparison between people, places, cars, houses and yes - years. Each person , each year is so unique and deserves unique and special treatment I think. But some years, by accident or by design break the backbone of your personality. 2006 took away my INNOCENCE big time. I am no more the same Shahid that I was at the begining of 2006, and I will always yearn for that Shahid of pre 2006.

But life goes on and so will mine too. However, I will no longer be able to FEEL for others the way I used to. I will no longer be able to swim against the current irrespective of the consquences. I will longer be able see the World in shades of Grey where one is allowed to even symphatize with killers and murderes. In 2007 I will no be able to have cmpassion for the victim and aggressor both. Its time to take sides now.

I came home and found a book of Insha ji in my library. Here is what he has to say about folks like me.

" Insha ji bahut din beet chuke
Tum tanha the tum tanha ho
Ye jog bajog to theek nahi
Ye rog kisi ka accha ho ??
Kabhi purab main kabhi pacchim main
Tum purwa ho, tum puchwa hi
Jo nagri nagri Bhatkaye
Aisa bhi na man main kataa ho

Aye jogi aye darwesh kawi
Kiyoon umr gawanye ramta ho
Kiyooon tan par rakh bhbaoot male
tu goarkh nath ka chela ho?
Ye purab pacchim kcuh bhi nahi
Ye jog bajog bhi dhoka ho
jo tujh se juda sab maya hai
paa apne ko gar pana ho
kiyoon aur pe jee ko rijhata hai?
ye peet ki reet to phanda ho
Jo haraa jaan se haar gyaa
Jo jeeta woh bhi ruswaa ho?

Dhooni na ramaa bisraam na kar
Bas alakh laag kar chalta ho
Tu apna reh - tu apna ban
Tu Insha hai - tu Insha ho !! " --- Ibne Insha

Doosra Kinara ...

Vikas Plays Sameer Azad, the protagonist, grew up and lost his heart in Northern India...
Location: Atlanta, GA, USA
Education: MBA Finance
Industry: Investment banking
What is he upto? - Buy DVD and find out !!!!

Crying over a Coffee...

I was at a Starbucks on Holcomb Bridge when Mullah Luis ran into me.

Crying over a coffee?
No am not
Why not?
I am cool – Why should I cry?
You are cool? Yeah – that’s right…have you worked on your new year’s resolutions?
I do not wait for the New Year to resolve anything.
You should – but this time I have made a resolution for you.
And what is that?
Yeah and it says, “ I will fight three enemies of mine at all costs”
What are you talking about? I do not have enemies.
This is your biggest problem; you do not see the fucking World, THE WAY IT REALLY IS. You see it with your ideological lenses in which everyone looks like a F***g angel. Look around; here in this place if some folks find out you'r a “Moslem”, they would like to see your ass kicked right away.
You are generalizing people. There are some good people around here!
May be you are right, but I am not wrong either.
Ok – Whatever…
Listen – you have a problem and I am here to help.
Listen Mullah, if you want to help – help me find an actor who can deliver. I am looking for a Caucasian male, 45 years old, for my next film and….
You do not want to know the New Year resolution?
Ok – Go ahead.

Your New Year resolution is to fight three enemies that you have, and they are:
1 – Your f***g Ideology
2 – Your F***g Emotions
3 - your F***g Heart

Don’t look at me like I am some fool. You call me a Mullah for a reason – right? Listen, smart people in this World even capitalize on their enemies to make profits. You on the other hand gets hammered because of these three enemies you carry all over with you.
This is the way I am …
That ain’t is going to cut this time Shahid.
I am sick and tired of your explanations man. Get Real. You know it is so fucking easy to take you for a ride. All one needs is to know the names of a few books, philosophers, film writer/directors and one has to hate right-wingers of all major religions, and you will be a buddy in no time.
Aren’t you oversimplifying it man?
I do not care. All I know is that I see a good guy, who gets motivated because of ideology and emotions, takes up a challenge and comes down here to cry over a coffee…

I am not crying over a coffee…….

(I lied ....)

My First Dream !

My first dream, Doosra Kinara is ready for release. I used my entire christmas vacation to fine tune it and provide sub titles. When my team gets back from holidays, the first busienss of the day would be to decide on a vanue and time for the Premier.

Ye maana ke is Zameen ko na gulzaar kar sake
Kuch khaar kam kar gaye guzre jidhar se hum !

Tarkash Films

Khud se bhi jo main ne chupaye ..

Kin lafzon main itni kadwi itni kaseeli baat likhoon?
Sher ki main tehzeeb nibahoon ya apane halat likhoon?

Gham nahi likhoon kiya main gham ko jashn likhoon kiya matam ko?
Jo dekhe hain main ne Janaaze kiya un ko baraat likhoon?

Kis Kis ki aankhon main dekhen hain main zahar bhare khanjar ....
KHUD SE BHI JO MAIN NE CHUPAYE KAISE WOH SADMAAT LIKHOON?

Kaatil bhi , maktool bhi dono, naam Khudaa ka lete the
Koi khuda hai to woh khaan tha? Meri kiya aukaat likhoon?

Javed Akhtar - Tarkash

and then ....

... and then you learn and learn - with every goodbye, you learn!

Tanhaa...

Tere Baare main jab socha nahi tha ...
Main Tanhaa tha, Magar Itna nahi tha !

Shahid Sayed is Dead ....

(Born during Vietnam Crisis - Died during Iraq Crisis)-RIP

Yeah - this is how I thought it is going to be two weeks ago. I was convinced that my time is up and I will begin a new journey to meet my Lord, to go over the trivialities of life that he had me stuck for this long. But that was not to be, and I am alive but I ain't kicking anything.... there is nothing to kick anyways.

I had this chest pain and headache that started the night my friend and editor Jeff gave me the final copy of my film. And like most of Internet junkies I did my research on symptoms and concluded that this is an impending heart attack. I spoke with my friend L.V. who had a heart surgery two years ago, and who keeps pushing me to buy the stocks of those companies that make heart valves etc, it confirmed my worst fear......and the LIGHTS WENT OUT...

I was done - gone - Dead...well before anything drastic happened. My life changed in a few minutes. I was no longer interested in L.V.s insights on stocks and what MBA can do to my career. I stooped paying attention to all " the good news" and " the bad news" that we run into very often at lunchtime at Georgia State University Campus. I just wanted to die and get it over with. I have been under so much stress lately that any new stress was too much to take.

I went to the Doc and he did EKG twice. He put me on some muscle relaxing medicines and wanted my " blood". It was ironic to see a blonde "good news" nurse taking my shirt off, moving my pant to expose my leg so that she can put the sensors "all over" my body --- Oh how I wished for these occurrences when I was healthy and somewhat alive.....

I was at a Thanksgiving Party one night and I cried after hugging my friend A.S. telling him that I am going to die. Later, N told me that my crying was due to the tablet called " Chill Pill" that Doc had prescribed. I " cleaned " my apartment of any unwanted stuff that folks may discover next morning. I wrote my will and e-mailed it to my friends. I was freaking out thinking what if I die with leg up or hand in a wrong place or something like that. God, that would be so embarrasing - I wanetd to go as I had lived ie. Presentable! Now, I know why marriage is such a needed institution. It gives us a partner to straighten our legs and close our eyes after we are dead. How much that partner contributes towards that death is another matter.

I was sorry that I would never be able to see the leftist thinking of " jiye and jeene do" prevail. I was sad that by dying early I am giving a tremendous blow to my mom and to my friends. I was sad that I would not be able to express my emotions to someone precious that I have been holding for the last 18 years. I was sad that I would not be able to see peace and prosperity in Iraq, Kashmir, Palestine/Israel, Afghanistan, Africa and Chechnya.

I was sad this winter morning fogs that take over my apartment would be history. I was sad that no woman would smile at me when I yield at an un-signalized intersection. I was sad that there will be no one to pick the movie that arrives in the mail from blockbuster every week. I was sad knowing that my first film " Doosra Kinara" would be my last as well. I was sad that there will no more poetry from Javed Akhtar, Nida Fazli and Gulzar.

I was sad that K.S. will no longer be able to sunao me poetry of Rumi, Hafiz and Iqbal. He tried me to take interest in Iqbal and come out of Ghalib and Meer "Phase". I was sad that I will not see T, M, and M become expert lawyers and will not see Adi become a Yale alumni, surely would miss watching Faizan grow and settle in life. I was sad that I would not be able to take flowers to D.... I was sad that I will no be able to see the reactions of A, A, R, I, FK, and S to where my life is going.

The list is long....

But I am alive. Doc discovered nothing abnormal and suggested diet control and aerobics. He says it must have been a combination of stress and a panic attack. Since this incident I have realized how important it is to enjoy every minute of life with family and friends - to be thankful to whoever is up there, for letting me enjoy one more day of simply living.

PS: BTW those "good and bad news" that L.V. keeps talking about during lunch time NOW look more "good" then "bad" !!!!

The only way I know...

The only way I know to see this picture; is to assume that is my mother, soaked in my blood, crying, mourning, thinking about all the pains and sufferings she went thru to bring me up in this World. I am sure like all mothers the only red colors she wanted to see was the red color dress of my wife on the night of the wedding...

Why don't these sufferings come to f****g geedy, unscorplous, dishonest people?

Is there anyone UP there?

Anxiety and film....

The night my editor gave me the final copy of my film " Doosra Kinara", I have been having this continous headach and my stress level is very high. I kept looking reasons for this sudden chnage in my health but could not find one.

And finally it dawned on me that it has to do with my film. Now that it is ready for release, I am anxious about its reception. Even though there is not much money riding on it, I am freaking out about how well it will be recieved. We all worked hard on it. It has a good philosphical, almost nostalgic look at life with a great song from Bhupinder ji. The music is awesome. It was a dream come ture to have Bhupiner Ji sing a song written by me. I have been his fan all my life, and here he was singing my words and emotions....one couldn't ask for a better debut than this.

A friend from Georgia Tech days, who is a well known director and a trail blazer in Bollywood, has asked me to mail him the DVD. I did, and now my anxiety has increased.

Aye Zindagi gale laga le
Hum ne bhi tere har gham ko
Gale se lagaya hai - hai na?

(Above is Kristi Hutchinson, she plays the female lead in Doosra Kinara.)

Random thoughts ....

- I wonder if we have had the same amount of " shock and awe" campaign in Iraq, if Baghdad had BPOs and offices of MNCs.

- Why these secretrian killings do not involve women and children in Iraq? For the last three a half years we have been reading news reports of hundreds of men between the age of 20 -40 picked up, tortured and killed. Why are these sworn enemies ( shites and sunnis) sparing each others women and children?

Injustice !

Injustice "anywhere" in the World is the threat to justice " everywhere" in the World...

I wish I can drill these words of Mrtin Luther King Jr. into the heads of 6.3 Billion people of the World.

Thats all ---

Dhande ka Shahr...

Yeah, this is exactly how I would describe the City of Atlanta today - atleast for the Indian community.

They are hoiding a film festival called Atlanta Indo American Film Festival (http://www.iafs.us/AIAFF/Web/Forms/frmIndex.aspx). At the opening night they brought in Nagesh's Dor and had him for Q & A. More then one third of the hall was empty.

Last night at the screenings of films at Emory, the turn out was only those of that are part of the film Almost no one else showed up for a this free event.

I think a decent town must have a place of worship, a library and an arts center - everything else from police station to water tretment plant and transportation infrastcture should be optional.

When I was auditioning folks for my film, I had a traumatic time finding the right talent. That was two years ago and now with this expereince I feel Atlanta is a commerce town which means " Dhande ka shahr " in Hindi, and I stand by every image this words brings in.

Peace....

punishment ...

Some roads though beautifull lead to nowhere ...
you still have to go through them many times a day
Knowing fully well that it is a waste - every minute of it
Civilzed punishments can take many forms !!!

my favorite season...

October is my favorite month for many reasons, some of which are " shareable"....these pics are inside my apartment complex.

Looking back in anger..

It is 2:45 am in the morning and I just came back from freinds to this empty - lonley apartment. Night is cold and I can not slep. My my mind is drifting away to my last attempt of achieveing socio-emotional nirvana.

Why the hell that did not work? That was my best shot? I will never be able to do anything like that for the rest of my life? That was so pure and so ideologcial. It should have worked by all means.....

Whom and what is to blame or is there a need for it? Will blaming someone take the pain away?

Its going to be a long night...

!

Leadership...

Fail like a man...

Ever wonder why there is a part in everyone of us that wants to “FAIL LIKE A MAN” in everything we do or undertake?

I have been doing some analysis and came to the conclusion that it has nothing to do with mind but everything to do with our hearts. One heart break and your life span is shortened by quite a good percentage – second heartbreak and you wonder what hope is keeping you alive?

Why are you alive? What the hell you think you are; and what hopes you have which forces you to get up and go to work every f**** day?

What for? Why not “fail like a man” and get it over with?

the girl in the cafe !

Saw this flm by David Yates on fighting World Poverty. Good work.

" Every generation has the power to be great - you can be that generation" .
- Nelson Mandela

Its another day for you and me in paradise !

The heaviest burden a father can carry - Corp of his dead child.

While this was going on we in another parts of the same room (World) had sex to produce a child, went out on a date, impressed others about our humanity, made money in stock market, told lies and truths, dreamt big and small, taught our children how to brush teeth and how to drive a car, shared stories, laughed at jokes, attended Church, Mosque, Temple and Synagogue. We prayed for a better future for our kids...

The caravan of happiness moved on except for this Iraqi father who will never be the same again.

Ashamed? .... We must be!

Koi na sang mre ....

Utna hi upkaar samajh koi
jitna saath nibha de
Janam maran ka mel hai sapna
ye sapna bisra de
Koi na Sang mre .....

Man re tu kahe na dheer dhare
Woh nirmohi moh na jaane
jina ka moh kare ...!!! - Sahir

Self Realization

"Our deepest fear is not that we are inadequate. Our deepest fear is that we are powerful beyond measure. It is our light, not our darkness, that most frightens us. We ask ourselves, who am I to be brilliant, gorgeous, talented, and fabulous? Actually, who are you not to be? You are a child of God. Your playing small doesn’t serve the world. There’s nothing enlightened about shrinking so that other people won’t feel insecure around you. We are all meant to shine, as children do. We are born to make manifest the glory of God that is within us. It’s not just in some of us, it’s in everyone. And as we let our own light shine, we unconsciously give other people permission to do the same. As we are liberated from our own fear, our presence automatically liberates others.”
- Marianne Wiliamson

Fix you...

A song by ColdPlay. G calls them the "Gods of music" -

- Fix You -

When you try your best but you don't succeed
When you get what you want but not what you need
When you feel so tired but you can't sleep
Stuck in reverse

and the tears come streaming down your face
when you lose something you can't replace
when you love some one but it goes to waste
could it be worse?

Lights will guide you home
And ignite your bones
And I will try to fix you

High up above or down below
When you're too in love to let it go
But if you never try you'll never know
Just what you're worth

Lights will guide you home
And ignite your bones
And I will try to fix you

Tears stream down your face
When you lose something you cannot replace
Tears stream down your face
And I

Tears stream down your face
I promise you I will learn from my mistakes
Tears stream down your face
And I

Lights will guide you home
And ignite your bones
And I will try to fix you.

$55,000 per annum...

Our in-house technocrat G.B. informed me the other day that a single family needs only $55,000 a year to be happy and self sufficient in every way. I have yet to check the data accuracy and assumptions that this conclusion is based on, but let us assume it is true and falls within that 3% standard deviation.

This should translate to approx IR 30,000 - 40,000 a month for the Indian family. That means anyone who earns that much money but still pursues more money leaving wife and kids at home is making a big mistake. Those trips to the middle of nowhere to earn x amount is of no value as your family may not need that money.

It would be a worthwhile option to be at home enjoying the kids and flirting with wife (your own wife that is...) instead of closing that deal for the new project. The time spent teaching kids how to be a good man or a woman should take priority over anything else.

There is a story about Alexander the great hanging on the banks of the Sindh River getting ready to attack India. He came across a naked man sun tanning by the river. Alexander was puzzled by this sight and inquired what this guy is doing here. That dude replied I am enjoying life. Alexander said anything I can do for you? To which that guy said, " just move over you are blocking the sun". The conversation continued and that guy asked Alexander what he is up to? Alexander told him his desire to conquer the entire world. That guy asked Alexander what he would do after that. " Relax and Rest" was the response. That dude told Alexander " you will never rest if you put it aside for a future date. You will die during the journey".

We all know what happened to Alexander the GREAT!

Moral of the story: Never put of enjoying time with your dear ones for a future date. Future may never come or it may take 17 years - who knows. Teaching your kid 4 hours before the flight about life and its commplexities may not help either !!

That's all ............

Just passing through...

When I asked a friend of mine, D at work if he had his " breakfast" in the morning (he has a live in girl friend) his eyes did not light up. No smiles. Not many folks at work know what I mean when I ask about his breakfasts in the morning.

It did not take long to figure out what had happened. I wore my agony uncle cap and explained to him that betrayal and deceits lose their impact when you take a 25,000 ft view of it. That is where the art of detachment comes in. Detachment from everything worldly takes you to a different level of consciousness.

When we go to a new place as a tourist, we go through all kinds of experiences. We meet all kinds of white, black and grey people. We also encounter some sweetest people along the way. These folks unintentionally or by design provide us with what we later call “ experiences”. In the midst of all bittersweet experiences we never lose heart, we never lose hope, as we know all this is temporary and soon we will go back home. That very thought of things and affairs not being permanent keeps you going every day.

That is how one should look at life no mater where you are. Nothing will remain forever. No betrayal will stay longer than you want it to. You will do excellent if you remind yourself that " I am just passing through..."

My 8th grade teacher introduced me to a book called " Himakaten" from Shafiq-ur-rehmaan. In that book he writes that he wants to live his life like a tourist. He wants to observe the life from a distant. I reckon this was his way to safeguard against daily betrayals and shocks.

So next time when someone hurts you very deep…say it to yourself “ I am just passing through” and see the magic work for you.

ps: BTW I am too just passing thru!!!!

Nostalgia...

Every year fall brings back memories of the not so distant past. - My student days at Georgia Tech. Those were the days.....yes, those really were the days!

When I was not sure if I would be able to complete my MS. When I had no money - no car - no job, nothing. I remember asking Nagesh Kukunoor to help me buy the basic grocery and he was always happy to pick me up and take me to the Kroger at the Howell Mill Road. I used to buy the " basic" stuff like egg and bread just to get by, to stay alive. Those days a telephone call to India was worth $2.40 a minute. I used to call mom only for a few minutes just to hear her voice.

I do not know if those winters were very VERY cold or I had no proper winter clothing. Those long and cold walks to the class rooms were not that bad as my mind had the sunshine of the future to keep me warm.

Time flew linto the thin air. It always does, and here I am trying to understand where and when did life slipepd out of my grip? Where did all those moments go that were going to be with me forever? Why do I feel it was not worth it? Why does life offers everything but - stability?

Stability.....

zindagi main...

" Apni Zindagi main tum ne kiya kiya? Kisi se sacche dil se piyaar kiya? Kisi dost ko nek salaah di? Kisi Dushman ke bete ko mahobbat ki nigha se dekha? Jhaan andhera tha wahan roshni ki kiran le gaye? Jitni der tak jiye ...is jeene ka kiya matlab tha? " --- Krishn Chandra

If you are ...

IF YOU ARE GOING THROUGH HELL
Keep Going !!!!

Humsafar..

I dunno why but this poem started descending on me last night. It is not complete and it may never be.

Chaha tha bas ik humsafar
socha tha na par ye magar
Woh jab zindagi main aayega
kuch lamhe aise sath layega
jin ke sath jude honge
woh din jin ki shaam nahi hai
raaten jin main chaand nahi hai


in aadhi adoori raton main
in uljhi uljhi baton main
Kaise koi ji sakta hai?
Zahar kiya .................

the World is like this....

A dear friend who is a regular reader of my weekly jivings told me not to blame the World. It has been like that for ages. It will be like this when no one would know where my grave is.

No humble - simple human being can get a good deal here. Period. They will sc-- w you at the first available oppurtunity. The opening line of Jagjit Singh ghazal goes like " Sar jhukaoge to Patthar Devta Ho jayega !"

Look at President Jimmy Carter. How many Amercians respect him? He is the MOST human President alive today but he is seen as weak and sissy just coz he did not bombed the hell out of Iran during 1979 hostage crisis. Wolrd by default does not like fair minded - kind hearted- sensitive - humble human beings. This is the truth and you better accept it.

Look around at the Local - Regional - State - International arena and it will not take long to figure out what I mean.

Lonliness..........

Rashid left for New York yesterday and I am alone once again.

He is an old friend and we have known each other for over 20 years. It was so good to show him around and to catch up on this mess called life.

Initially I was uncomfortable with the thought that he would be with me day and night. I was afraid that soon he would discover my insecurities and battles that I am fighting these days. As the time passed I began to appreciate having him round. having someone in my empty apartment. My lonliness was gone.

No that fast.

Now that he is gone, I am noticing how lonely I have been all this time. Its been ages that I lived with some one. My God - what the hell has happened to me that I chose this life of lonliness. Why lonliness stopped bothering me? Why do I feel at home not having anyone around? I thought I was a very social and exteremly friendly person who could make friends out of starngers in no time.

It is late morning here and I hope to find the answer to these questions.

Barbaadi...

Apni wajah-e-barbaadi suniye to maze ki hai
Zindagi se yu khele jaise doosre ki hai !!!
- Javed Akhtar

Every Morning...

Every Morning in Africa a deer wakes up.It Knows it must run faster than the fastest lion or it will be killed.
Every morning a lion wakes up.It knows it must run faster than the slowest deer or it will starve to death.
It Doesn't matter if you are a lion or deer, when the Sun comes up you'd better be running.

Read in an MBA forum. good Stuff.

This is THE END...

This is the End of Innocence .....
- Don Henley

Jab kabhi bhi kisi se ...

Ustaad Nida Fazli used the most simple words to say the most complicated issues of all times.

He suggests...

Jab kisi se kabhi gila rakhna
Saamne apne aayeena Rakhna !

Thats all.....

Javed Saab....

It seems like he knows what I am going through these days. I could not belive when I heard this song from Kabhi Alvida na Kehna. Each and every word in this song is worth a million dollars and mroe.

Mere man ye bata de tu
Kis aur chala hai tu ?
Kiya payaa nahi tu ne ?
Kiyd dhondh raha hai tu ?

Jo hai ankahi – jo hai ansuni
Who baat kiya hia bataa ?
Mitwaa kahen dhadkane tujh se kiya
Mitwaa ye khud se to na tu chupa !!

The pitures are from Jekyll Island, which is about 270 miles from Atlanta.

Main aur meri Aawargi !!

Phirte hain kab se dar badar ab is nagar ab us nagar
Ek doosre ke hum safar main aur meri aawargi
Naa-ashna har reh-guzar naa-meherban har ek nazar
Jayen to ab jayen kidhar main aur meri aawargi ?

Hum bhi kabhi aabad the aise kahan barbaaad the ?
be-fikr the aazad the masroor the dilshaad the
woh chaal aisi chal gaya - hum bujh gaye dil jal gaya
nikle jalaa ke apna ghar main aur meri awwargi !

jeena bahut assan tha jo ek shaks ka ehsaan tha
hum ko bhi ek armaan tha jo khwaab ka samaan tha
ab khwaab hain na jaarzoo, armaan hain na justaju
yun bhi chalo khush hain magar main aur meri awwargi!
----- Javed Akhtar ( Tarkash)

R.I.P.

Har Phool ki kismat main kahaan Naaze Urusan ?
Kuch phool to khilte hain mazaron ke liye bhi !

F E A R ...

F E A R = A PERCEPTION that you do not have choice at any point of your life.

Get over it.

Kaise kahen hum...?

Kasie kahen hum piyar ne hum ko kiya kiya khel dikhaye
Yu sharmayee kismat hum se khud se hum sharmaye !!

Baghon ko to pat jhad loote, loota hamen bahar ne
Duniya marti maut se lekin, maraa hum ko piyaar ne
Apna woh haal hai beech safar main jaise koi lut jaye

Tum kiya jano kiya chaa tha kiya le kar aaye hum ??
toote sapne, ghayal nagme, kuch sohle kuch shabnam
Kitna kuch hai payaa hum ne kahen to kahaa na jaye

Kaise kahen hum piyar ne hum ko kiya kiya khel dikhaye?

SP

What would you do if you were not afraid ..?

What would you do if you weren’t afraid?

OK...

So...uh...what exactly are you waiting for?

This isn’t a dress rehearsal...

Wake up!

Here’s the deal: What we can be, we MUST be.

Period.

There’s no getting around that one.

So, turn off your TV. Put down your drink. Get off the medication.

Quit numbing yourself. The pain’s not going away.

Not until you thinkarete.

“thinkarete”?

Yep.

Gandhi got it. Einstein got it. Mother Theresa got it.

Tiger gets it. Gates gets it. Oprah gets it.

The Greeks got it.

Get this: Guys like Socrates, Plato and Aristotle said that if you want happiness you better live with areté--a word that literally means virtue or excellence but has a deeper meaning...something closer to “constantly striving to reach your highest potential.”

areté.

How beautiful is that? It was one of the highest ideals of Greek culture.

It should be one of ours.

Tragically, it’s not.

We seem to be more interested in resumes, accolades and 401k's.

Speaking of retirement...

Who came up with that? Work like crazy doing something we're not passionate about so we can accumulate enough money to pay the bills from our stress-caused illnesses while we complain about what we should have done when we were still young.

Hmmm...We can’t quite figure that one out. Seems like it makes a bit more sense to go ahead and dare to live now...

Why not thinkarete?

Live to your highest potential--moment to moment to moment.

Not in the mood?

Fine. Then live with regret, anxiety, and disillusionment.

Your call.

Think about it. When do we feel most alive?

Exactly. When we’re being ourselves--our highest selves.

You want happiness?

thinkarete.

Dream. Grow. Stretch yourself.

Rip off the tie. Jump out of the cubicle.

Dream. Think. Dare to be crazy.

What are you waiting for?

thinkarete.

Are you crazy enough to think you can change the world?

Good.

Now go out and do it.

Live. Love. Smile. Hug. Laugh. Dream. Do. Create.
Have fun. Be intense. Be audacious. Be unreasonable. Act impeccably. Breathe.

Be you. Be different. Get paid to do what you love. Dance in your underwear on your way to work...

Why not?

Ditch the tie. Escape the cube. Leave the 8-5. Trash the resume.

Ignore the critics. And the cynics. Burn the corporate ladders. Laugh at the ceilings.

Quit the bitching. Open your mind. End the laziness. Overcome the fear. Transcend the conditioning...

Why not?

Move the world.

Change the world.

Push the human race forward.

Whatever you call it, go out and do it.

When?

Now.

Not when you have enough money or once you do this or do that. That’s nonsense.

It’s not gonna be easy, but go out and live your dream. Now.

You deserve it.

And, if that doesn’t move you: The world deserves it.

thinkarete.

( Courtsey - Thinarete.com)

The bottom line...

Check out how much it is costing to keep a country liberated....
http://nationalpriorities.org/index.php?option=com_wrapper&Itemid=182

Think about it ...!!

“How old would you be if you didn't know how old you are?”
~ Satchel Paige

Lonsome Dove!

Life in San Fransisco would still be just life. It is funny the thing that you are after are most are likely to disappoint you. As I see, the only healthy way to live is to enjoy these small llittle every day things...

(Robert Duvall to Diane Lane in Lonesome Dove)

Raj Thackrey...

Raj's recent rally at Shivaji Park confirms one age old theory that " there are followers all over the World, waiting for their LEADER to show up"...

So just show up on the stage, start with a great opening line, make sense, share vision and hopefully they will follow you. They waited for you this long remember...they wil follow you!

Heard on NPR this morning ....

A man is happy about two days in his life. The day he was born and ......and the day he found out WHY !!

Twenty years from now.....

Twenty years from now you will be more disappointed by the things you didn't do than by the ones you did do. So throw off the bowlines. Sail away from the safe harbor. Catch the trade winds in your sails. Explore. Dream. Discover."

~ Mark Twain, 19th century US author and humorist

Mehboob Be Wafa Sahi...

Some one referred to this idiosyncrasy of mine as “idiosyncrasy”.!! Another friend demanded more explanation. Here is another attempt.

What I meant is that one experiences Bewafayee once or twice in their life span. This is if they are lucky. Whereas Tameez or lack of it is something you have to put up with 24/7. One can always put the Be wafayee in a context and deal with it, whereas Bad Tameezi can never be put into any context and it will not go away. One is temporary and the other is recurring and is permanent.

When you wake up in the morning hoping to have a great productive day, you do not realize that the person sleeping next to you ( Husband/Wife…whatever) has so much power to screw up your day as soon as She / He opens her mouth …..

Be –Wafaayee is a weekend act whereas Bad Tameezi is every second, every minute, every day…for the rest of your life. I hope we all make a good selection.

That’s all folks!

Mehboob Be Wafa Sahi ....Bad Tameez Na Ho !

Just like nations- men also have something we can refer to as a constitution. I am not sure when I picked up this line but this remains a top ten lines of my personal charter.

I was 14 when my step brother decided to throw us out of the house. I never objected to them throwing me, mother and my brothers out, my issue was with the way it was done. I think that is when either I read this line or it came to me itself. Nevertheless this has been my parameter in judging people. I have lost many friends because of this filter but it would not go away.

I can tolerate a “ Be wafa” , sympathize with the circumstances and I might even romanticize it. How in the World can you romanticize some one’s “ Bad Tameezi”? I have not been able to figure this out…..

Again … Mehboob Be Wafa Sahi , Bad Tameez Na Ho !!

Mapped Life ...

I had the pleasure of speaking with a woman who potentially wants to marry me. She is in India and is a businessperson.

On one hand I was happy to speak to a young entrepreneur, but on the other hand I felt as if I was speaking to a "planning, - executing- money making mind". Where is the heart that I want to take home? I get turned off if a person does not make an intellectual statement, shares a beautiful thought or offers some insight into anything within the first hour of the conversation.

She has her ENTIRE LIFE MAPPED to the minute details. She used word " money" 15 times in an hour. Do these people who have given so much importance to money ever have a blissful moment in their lives? What insecurities drive them to the M word like crazy? Is it possible to snap them out of these insecurities?

I see life as a river that flows in the direction of least resisatnce till provoked, nurtures lives irrespective of caste, gender, religion and nationality, takes all the shit that the World dumps in it, offer hopes and is preneial.......!

Always !

Iqbal once said

"Ye sahi hai rahe dil ke paas pasban akal
Magar kabhi kabhi use tanhaa bhi chod de" !

Shahid

You never complete a film....

"You never complete a film - you just abandon it"...

A friend who just attended Cinequest Film Festival in San Jose came back with this gem of a statement for me. I am 1000% sure if not for these friends, we would wander around this wilderness called - life..!!

Thanks buddy ...my film is on its way....

Night Life in Atlanta....

I wanted to write about my "night life" experience here in Atlanta but then Europe decided to test "freedom of expression" and that made me write about insult to the prophet instead. Anyways, this is how it unfolded....

As I had mentioned earlier we were at this grand builing in the midtown Atlanta. It was very cold night but folks in the que were dressed up as if they were going to a summer camp. When we entered the builing the first thing that I noticed was that there were no windows. That made me very uncomfortable. I can not stand a place where I can not see outside. I am an outside person and walls suffocate me. The only fear I have with death and my burial is not having windows six feet down under.

It was around 11:00 pm that crowd started tickling in. Wow...where do these guys n gals ( mainly girls) go grocery shopping was my first reaction. ...The noise... err music was so loud that meeting them at Kroger or Home Depot was the best option if I wanted to have an inteligent conversation, I realized. Anyway who goes to the club to talk?

Darrell came upto me and said " Shaheed , brother make sure you have a good time" - Yeah right. DJs were working hard and Music was getting louder every minute past 11:30. The lights were also keeping pace with music and shining brightly and in harmony creating an unsettling effect on my mind. And suddenly I realized the change in my pokcet was shaking. Yes, the vibrations from music were shaking the change in my pocket. If this is the case with my money what the hell is going on with other sensitive organs of my body, I wondered....

Usually when I am in an un-chartred territories the writer/director in me takes over. I started looking at the whole thing from different perspective, but there was no escape from LOUD music. I tried to hide behind the columns and even some beautifull people ...but nothing worked. Darrell was the one who was " really" having good time. Great self control -I would be thrown out for indecent behaviour if I find myself in your shoes, brother.

And then I realized I am having trouble breathing. Asthama attack...no way. It was smoke. Clubs are the only buildings where non smokers go out to have some fresh air.

Lastly I smelled perfumes. All brands and types. There were elizabeth, Lisa and Bijan. These perfumes have a lot of alcohol in them. and I do not like things that contain alcohol... apan ki matti kuch aur hai. Give me " Raat ki raani" or "Chameli" any day and I will not complain. ....

Shahid

ps: Darrell says we need to go back and that I will be more comfortable this time around......well, dekhte hain !!!

A few good men....!

I have so many thoughts but too little time. Well, let me clarify something I overlooked when I was writting about the club expereince last weekend.

My friends , Beniquez and Darrell are some of the best friends that I have in Atlanta. When I wrote that post I did not realize I am accusing them of neglecting thy neihbours. They are not the type I was writting about. They are just like me in many ways and that is why I call them friends....They are a few good MEN in America for me.....

Smile Break - From Nita

Chris Rock's "Quote of the Year"

"You know the world is going crazy when the best rapper is a white guy, the best golfer is a black guy, the tallest guy in the NBA is Chinese, the Swiss hold the America's Cup, France is accusing the U.S. of arrogance, Germany doesn't want to go to war, and the three most powerful men in America are named Bush, Dick, and Colon. Need I say more?"

Life Path Number

Your Life Path Number is 3

Your purpose in life is to express your unique self. You are a creative and artistic person with an interesting view on life. Witty and outgoing, you enjoy sharing your crazy ideas with anyone who will listen. A total social butterfly, you're the life of any party. In love, you inspire and enchant your partner. You are often an object of fantasy and desire. While you are very talented, you sometimes lack the ambition to put your talents in play. And while your wit carries you a long way, you occasionally use it to mask your true feelings. Your natural abilities can bring you all the success in the world ... if you let them

What Is Your Life Path Number?

Visa Half Time Report

Scores: Pittsburg Steelers 0 Cincinnati Bengals 17 – Half Time.

That was at the Half Time when Bill Cowers walked into the locker room. I was curious to see what kind of a game plan he is going to come up with, knowing he is down by 17 points against Bengal’s. And sure enough, he had a plan for victory when he walked back in to the field. Steelers made some changes in the line up, stopped the passing game of Bengal’s and viola. Bill Cowers not only erased 17 points deficit but went on to win the game by 31 – 17.

That is the power of a Coach, the power of adjustments, the power of clear thinking --- that is the power of a HALF TIME.

It is the half time that stops the game irrespective of scores and gives both teams to think it thru, Strategize and make changes. It is the half time that offers one last chance to get back into the game before its too late. It is the half time that some time decides the ultimate winner.

Some time life does not offer the luxury of having a great and inspiring Coach or a Team Manager or other monetary perks. It does offer a Half Time though. Some time it comes in the form of a Hospital stay for a surgery. Some time it comes from being alone and in pain, lying in bed rewinding and forwarding some important scenes of your life.

The SECOND HALF begins on Monday.

God Willing scores will have to change in a hurry!!

Shahid

Oh well....!

Shahid

For You !

If you're lost and feel alone
Circumnavigate the globe
All you ever have to hope for too

nd the way you seem to flow
Circumnavigate in hope
And they seem to lose control, with you

Everyone of us is hurt
And everyone of us is scarred
Everyone of us is scared
Not you

Your eyes closed
Your head hurts
Your eyes feel so low

Everyone of us is scared
Everyone of us is hurt
Everyone of us has hope
For you (x10)

(a song by Cold Play)

Last Night.......

The surgey was successfull and AL I am back home now. My freind Gandharv was present all 6 hours that I was at the Hospital. He took care of me and later took me to his house. I stayed there for a few days and asked them to drop me home as I waas feeling fine. More about that later ....Last night was special though. Last night this stanza from Faiz's potery was on my mind.

Raat yun dil mei teri, khoi hui yaad aai
jaise veerane mei chupke se bahaar aa jaae
jaise sehra mei hole se chale baad e naseem
jaise beemar ko be-vaj'he karaar aa jaae.

Jaise Beemar ko be wajah karar aa jaye ....!!!

Shahid

lights - Operating Table - Surgeons...

This is what's coming next Thursday. I will be in the Hospital for a Hernia Surgery. Dr. James Majors will cut a part of me to repair me. Doc says it should take 1.5 hours and I will be fine.

Am I scared? Of course I am. It%u2019s a lonely feeling to undergo a surgery in a distant land - away from home, away from family and friends. It hits deep down somewhere. Even though I have been preparing for it, there are many questions that have been playing heavily on my mind. What can go wrong? What if I do not wake up? What happens then?

Earlier I had postponed this surgery because I wanted to do it while I was in Bombay last month. I wanted my family and friends to be around when the Anesthesiologist puts me to sleep for four hours. I wanted some reassuring faces around me in this hour of my life.

That was not to be. I came back without the surgery from home, from everyone. I chose to live in pain but refused to go thru it while in Bombay. My reason for not doing it was that if I have to do it alone then I might as well do it in Atlanta.

Loneliness gave me comfort and strength. At least that%u2019s what I always believed in%u2026
-------Not anymore.

I will have to face reality come Thursday. I know what will be going thru my mind minutes before I am sedated. I will be lying under those lights wearing the usual surgical cap and gown. Everything will be well lit around me in the Operation Theatre that day. There will be so much direct light on my body and nothing will be hidden from the Doctors.

I am not sure if Doctors will notice the darkness descending on my heart as they try to repair me%u2026

Shahid

How do you fall in love?

Q: How do you fall in love with life again?

Hum jis ke bhi kareeb rahe....

Apni trah sabhi ko kisi ki talash thi
Hum jis ke bhi kareeb rahe door hi rahe

Duniya na jeet pao to haro na khud ko tum
Thodi bahut to zahan main narazgi rahe

Badlaa na apne aap ko jo the wohi rahe
Milte rahe sabhi se magar ajanabi rahe ----Nida Fazli

Jaane kiya soch kar nahi guzra....

Jaane kiya soch kar nahi guzra
EK pal raat bhar nahi guzra !

Apni tanhayee ka shikwaa na kisi se karna
tum hi tanhaa hi nahi aur bhi akele hain
ye akela safar nahi guzra.....

Jaane kiya soch kar nahi guzra....

Woh Shahr ...

Chod kar jise log na kabhi jaate honge
Sari duniya main koi shhar to aisa hoga ! - Salman Akhtar

Question

How many folks really knows what goes thru a traveller's mind when he looks at things and people for the LAST TIME?
Can we draw a parallel between a traveller and a convict who is going to be hanged?
May be yes.

Hazaron Khwahishen aisi..

Yesterday I had gone to see Om Katare's play " Zara In se Milye " at the Prithvi. Normally I sit thru the complete performance even if I do not like it, simply to encourage the performers. Waise bhi kam log aate hain play dekhne. This time though I could not sit thru it and left it halfway. I liked a line delivered by Om and goes like " These days divorce shaadi se zayada costly hoti hai "....

On the way back a line form Ghalib kept reverberating in my mind " Hazaron Khwahishen Aisi ke ..."
:)
Shahid

Yellow - a song by Chris Martin

Coldplay the indie band has this song that my friend Gandharv introduced me to. It is an awsome song with deep words. Here is what other peole think of the song and of Chris Martin.
---
Here is the lyric

Lyrics for: Yellow

Look at the stars,
Look how they shine for you,
And everything you do,
Yeah, they were all yellow.



I came along,
I wrote a song for you,
And all the things you do,
And it was called "Yellow."


So then I took my turn,
Oh what a thing to have done,
And it was all "Yellow."


Your skin
Oh yeah, your skin and bones,
Turn into something beautiful,
You know, you know I love you so,
You know I love you so.


I swam across,
I jumped across for you,
Oh what a thing to do.


Cos you were all "Yellow,"
I drew a line,
I drew a line for you,
Oh what a thing to do,
And it was all "Yellow."



Your skin,
Oh yeah your skin and bones,

Turn into something beautiful,
And you know for you,
I'd bleed myself dry for you,
I'd bleed myself dry.


It's true, look how they shine for you,
Look how they shine for you,
Look how they shine for,
Look how they shine for you,
Look how they shine for you,
Look how they shine.


Look at the stars,
Look how they shine for you,
And all the things that you do


AND this is what people think about the song, Chris Martin and the word yellow.


I had an interview with chris martin in canada last year and i had asked him what he specifically meant by using the word YELLOW. He said it means caution, he was doing all he could for the girl (in the song) but she was pusing him away because she was unsure or just being caution. and he drew a line at the end of the song just strongly realizing she is an unsure person.
- christine, toronto, Canada
One of the things I learned about songs is the best are slightly ambiguous - and thus allow for multiple interpretations, so you can personalize its significance to you. To me, yellow is the color of warmth, the color of the sun. The line "I drew a line" refers to the notion of drawing a line in the sand where you won't allow someone to cross (to defend yourself and those you love). [Again - these are my interpretations] I love the song - because it speaks to me - and I can relate to it. And that was nicely confirmed for me when I recently attended their Columbus Ohio Twisted Logic gig - and melted like all the rest of the audience.
- Robert, Pittsburgh, PA

a simple yet romantic love song. not too mushy, yet you can still feel goosebumps especially if someone sings this song to you. just love the reason why color yellow's used as the main color/imagery in this song.all of us are indeed cowards when it comes to revealing our true feelings, especially as far as love is concerned. oh well, that's how love is!!!it also brightens our day just like the color yellow!!!
- may, davao city, Other

this song is great. I think this song is about how you see things from a different prospective when you are in love and how he will do anything for this person. "for you i'd bleed myslef dry" I absolutely love the line "look at the stars look how thye shine for you" just great, words cant really explain the greatness of this masterpiece
- Dusan, Berkely, IA

I hadn't heard this song until recently. Very recently recovered from cancer myself, my love always called me sunshine. Everything around me was yellow. He played the video for me and I just sat there, tears pouring. To me, the song means the continuation of my life. Forever yellow. It is the most powerful thing I have ever heard, and felt.
- Susan, New Egypt, NJ

I believe that the first lines of this song outline what comes throughout the rest. Stars symbolize hope, wishes, dreams.. so in turn the world "yellow" throughout the rest of the song refers to a dream or wish. This dream/wish is someone who he loves. He does everything to reach her and in the end everything was always all "yellow." The stars shined for her because he was so in love with her that his wish was to reach her.
- KT, NY, NY

The "yellow" in the song comes from how the person being sang to is a drug user, more specificaly a heroin addict thats my opinion and im sticking to it
- Hans, oakdale, CA

Looking outside the "Jaundice" theory, here is something to think about; Yellow has a lot of meanings in certain cultures. It also stimulates the nervous system and envokes wisdom. Buddha dressed all of his priests in yellow to show intellect. To be "all yellow" means you are quick witten because your nerves are in an active condition throughout the body.
- Amanda, tampa, FL

Some moments ....

Well, I do have some pleasent update after a depressing posts. The city did come to " life" and I felt so home. I am not authorised to share all the momnets, but a few I can list without the fear of being sued...

1: We, 12 of us from the class of 1989 visited college last week. Satish wanted his Leaving Certificate after 17 years He wanted a proof that he fianlly left college. Iqbal the co-ordinator called everyone. All except me were suppose to be officially on jobs. We met and visited all the spots we can. The college has changed and looking better now. I am not sure about the academics but the students and the buildings were looking great. Everyone has retired except a few lab attendents and peons. To my surprise a peon A.V. Naik called Iqbal by his roll number. I was surprised. I asked him how he could remember Iqbal's Roll number after so many years? The reply was " Bas Kiya Shahid - Tere Roll Number 27 tha na..."
Man - that hit me. This is India - This is Home. This is what keeps NRIs attached to the homeland. I felt so connected in a heartbeat. Later they told us about thier sons and daughters that are on thier way to becoming Engineers and progarmmers. Thanks Naik - Thanks for touching my heart buddy. You rock!

2:I was waiting for a bus at the kemps corner area and an idea descended on me about my next project. I did not have a pen to write it down. I asked this Chanawala if he has a pen that I can borrow. He did not. I sat down to memorize my idea and then realize that chanawala was asking every customer if he or she has a pen. Unbelievebale! I did not even buy anything from him. The guy wanted to make sure I get the pen to write.

We all know how these scenes would have played out in other countries.......!!!

Shahid

ps: My friends have not changed. Infact speaking with some of them I felt like we never left the College. Wohi bad tameezyan and wohi ladkiyon ki baaten.....sudhar jao Iqbal and Raees.

Awaazon ke bazaron main

Moonh ki baat sune har koi
Dil ke Dard ko jane kaun?
Awazon ke Bazaron main
Khamoshi pehchane kaun? - Nida Fazli

Der Na Karna....

Der Na Karna Ghar jaane main...
Warna Ghar Kho Jayenge ...!!! - Nida Fazli

Imagine....

Imagine
Coimng home after seven LONG years
only to realize
Why the hell you came here in the first place?

Imagine...

Benaam sa ye dard thahr kiyoon nahi jataa?
Jo beet gyaa hai woh guzar kiyoon nahi jataa?
Main khud apni uljhi hui rahon ka tamashaa?
Jate hain jidhar sab udhar main kiyon nahi jataa?


Shahid

Kis ka rastaa dekhe..?

Kis ka Rastaa Dekhe - Aye dil aye saudayee
Meelon hai khamoshi , Barson hai Tanhayee
Bhooli duniya kabhi ki tujhe bhi mujhe bhi
Phir kiyoon aankh bhar aayee?

Kis ka Raste dekhe aye dil aye saudayee?

Lonely in India..

It is such a strange feeling to come back the roots, to the beginings, and wonder what would life would have been had you chosen a diffrent path. There is no easy answer except a constant feeling of uneasiness. A feeling that no one can truly understand, no one can share.

All this makes you feel lonely. Home does not know how to deal with you and you do not know either. There is a disconnect that creeps in and you live with that while conveying to everyone that you are hapy to be back. You start living in a vaccum.

But inside ----you wait - either to go back or for that moment of time when "Home" will connect with you. That moment of time after which things, place and occassion would not matter.

I do not know which moment is going to come first - my departure for good, or a re-connecteion with home.....

Till then living life in a vaccum...

Shahid

Tanhayeee ki ye kaun si manzil hai rafiqo
Taa - Hadde nazar ek bayaban sa kiyoon hai?

Day three in Bombay

Well, today is third day of my journey and these are my thoughts - " jab koi apna shehear chod kar chala jata hai to woh shahr, woh ghar kuch saal tak to jane wala ka intezaar karte hain ----uske baad woh bhi kahin chale jate hain"....

Too early to judge everyting else....mum is the word.
Shahid

Aadtan Aa Raha Hoon Maktal main ---Going Home Part 2

Aadtan Aa Raha hoon Maktal main…..!!

Next week this day I will be home in Bombay with family and friends…….

I do not know what I will be doing and which places I will be visiting first? It’s been 7 years almost that I walked on those streets and alleys. It seems like ages. I will be going with the last image of Bombay that I have been living with. Will I be able to recognize my city or will it recognize this boy from Byculla?

What will happen to those emotions and feelings that I have been carrying deep in my heart since I left Bombay. Will I be able to express them to the folks that matter to me? Will they listen? Have they matured enough to realize that this is their last chance to re-connect with my heart?

There are many thoughts that have been running thru my mind since I booked my flight. I am unable to calm them down. I never thought going back to your roots is going to a roller coaster ride for me…..

I do not know what made the great Kaifi Azmi write this sher, but it is apt in my case too.

“ Aadtan aa Raha hoon Maktal main
Ab to Kandhon Pe Mere Sar Bhi nahi”!!

Dekhte hain...

Shahid

Doctors says I am OK....

Doctor James Major confirmed that I have a condition which is so common that one out of seven Americans have it. I am not an American so this statistics should not be applied in my case, but hey it does not bother me to be part of this statistics.

I, as usual was thinking the worst. I thought I am going to die. I thought about canceling my wedding as I would not want to leave a young widow around for others to take a chance. I even began thinking about my will and what would I do with so much wealth that I have accumulated?

I thought of the following:

- Give it to my mom and let her do whatever she wants with it
- Set up a charitable trust to help victims of communal violence
- Institute an award in my name for any student who wants to pursue a career in films with a promise that he / she will make at least one film that is anti – right wingers from every major religion.
- Leave it to all the schools that I have attended (from World renowned Chor Bazar Munipal Urdu School to the MIT of the South, The Georgia Institute of Technology)
- Hold a function – thank all those that have been kind to me. Tell them how much I enjoyed their love and friendship.
- Write a cool epitaph for my grave that would make anyone give me (oops my grave) a big hug
- Just plain die…..and let the chips fall wherever they want to.

But God’s grace I am alive and well. Doctor told me to get married and come back for this minor surgery which will only last 3o minutes. He said I will be able to drive three days after the surgery. It was 3 in the afternoon when I left Doctors office. I had skipped my lunch because I was so stressed out. I went straight to the nearest Wendy’s and had a big chicken combo. I enjoyed the cool October breeze, the rush hour traffic and did not even mind the higher gas price ( $3.29/Gallon) at the gas station.

Believe me it helps to be alive…

Ps: The Doctors also said honeymoon would not be a problem with this condition – just make sure you are gentle and kind! ….well we shall see….

Triology !

I am just back from Starbucks after discussing my part of trilogy with the " greatest creative team in Atlanta area" i.e. GiriMohan Coneti and Rafique.

Giri, the hard to please critic surprised me by appreciating what I wrote. I had to confirm this from Rafiq a couple of times that what I heard is correct. May be he was still under the influence of alcohol from last night's party at the Cafe Istanbul. It is so satisfying to get good reviews from folks that you trust.

So, now the focus shifts to the exe- cute- producer Rafiq Batcha to line up actors for the film. He has good networks, which includes some of the prettiest people inside the perimeter. I am sure he will line up a good bunch for the audition next week.

This trilology is one of the best things going for our team - besides Giri 's two weeks vacation in Italy. We are so excited with the prospect of taking some original films to the film festival circuit. We already have one shot and edited. Giri is scheduled to shoot his on October 29 after he comes back from vacation. In the meantime I will complete the third one.

I personally feel we are doing something, which is so timely - so needed. I hope we do it the way we planned and then it will be up to Rafiq to put his Gozuita Business School MBA to work.

Future is getting better - slowly but surely!

Shahid

Going Home !

It is getting closer and closer everyday - my journey back to India. It should not be a big deal for any NRI like me. In fact this should be an exciting time for some one returning home to be with friends and family. This could be the most satisfying time in ones life - to be with your own people.

Not me. I am terrified with the thought that I will be flying to India in a couple of months. Terrified – because when I came to America 6 years ago I had given up on it. I had burned my bridges with India. When things were going bad for me in America, I remember having late night lonely talk with myself. In those conversations I used to convince my heart and mind that India does exits for me any more. That America is everything I got, good, bad or ugly. There is no turning back. I had remembered a story about a prince who was given a curse that “in the search of treasure, if he ever looks back – he will turn into a stone”.

I never came here in search of treasure – but that is a different story. Nevertless, I kept moving – never to look back.

Six LONG years later it dawned don me that I never left India. India came with me. It hid somewhere in the bottom of my heart and surfaced with a bang. There is no choice now to look back. I want to look back inspite of the fear that I may turn into stone – into nothing -- again.

Couple of months before I go to my home country-