It is 2:45 am in the morning and I just came back from freinds to this empty - lonley apartment. Night is cold and I can not slep. My my mind is drifting away to my last attempt of achieveing socio-emotional nirvana.
Why the hell that did not work? That was my best shot? I will never be able to do anything like that for the rest of my life? That was so pure and so ideologcial. It should have worked by all means.....
Whom and what is to blame or is there a need for it? Will blaming someone take the pain away?
Its going to be a long night...
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