Saturday, September 30, 2006

Self Realization

"Our deepest fear is not that we are inadequate. Our deepest fear is that we are powerful beyond measure. It is our light, not our darkness, that most frightens us. We ask ourselves, who am I to be brilliant, gorgeous, talented, and fabulous? Actually, who are you not to be? You are a child of God. Your playing small doesn’t serve the world. There’s nothing enlightened about shrinking so that other people won’t feel insecure around you. We are all meant to shine, as children do. We are born to make manifest the glory of God that is within us. It’s not just in some of us, it’s in everyone. And as we let our own light shine, we unconsciously give other people permission to do the same. As we are liberated from our own fear, our presence automatically liberates others.”
- Marianne Wiliamson

Thursday, September 28, 2006

Fix you...

A song by ColdPlay. G calls them the "Gods of music" -

- Fix You -

When you try your best but you don't succeed
When you get what you want but not what you need
When you feel so tired but you can't sleep
Stuck in reverse

and the tears come streaming down your face
when you lose something you can't replace
when you love some one but it goes to waste
could it be worse?

Lights will guide you home
And ignite your bones
And I will try to fix you

High up above or down below
When you're too in love to let it go
But if you never try you'll never know
Just what you're worth

Lights will guide you home
And ignite your bones
And I will try to fix you

Tears stream down your face
When you lose something you cannot replace
Tears stream down your face
And I

Tears stream down your face
I promise you I will learn from my mistakes
Tears stream down your face
And I

Lights will guide you home
And ignite your bones
And I will try to fix you.

Sunday, September 24, 2006

$55,000 per annum...

Our in-house technocrat G.B. informed me the other day that a single family needs only $55,000 a year to be happy and self sufficient in every way. I have yet to check the data accuracy and assumptions that this conclusion is based on, but let us assume it is true and falls within that 3% standard deviation.

This should translate to approx IR 30,000 - 40,000 a month for the Indian family. That means anyone who earns that much money but still pursues more money leaving wife and kids at home is making a big mistake. Those trips to the middle of nowhere to earn x amount is of no value as your family may not need that money.

It would be a worthwhile option to be at home enjoying the kids and flirting with wife (your own wife that is...) instead of closing that deal for the new project. The time spent teaching kids how to be a good man or a woman should take priority over anything else.

There is a story about Alexander the great hanging on the banks of the Sindh River getting ready to attack India. He came across a naked man sun tanning by the river. Alexander was puzzled by this sight and inquired what this guy is doing here. That dude replied I am enjoying life. Alexander said anything I can do for you? To which that guy said, " just move over you are blocking the sun". The conversation continued and that guy asked Alexander what he is up to? Alexander told him his desire to conquer the entire world. That guy asked Alexander what he would do after that. " Relax and Rest" was the response. That dude told Alexander " you will never rest if you put it aside for a future date. You will die during the journey".

We all know what happened to Alexander the GREAT!

Moral of the story: Never put of enjoying time with your dear ones for a future date. Future may never come or it may take 17 years - who knows. Teaching your kid 4 hours before the flight about life and its commplexities may not help either !!

That's all ............

Friday, September 22, 2006

Just passing through...

When I asked a friend of mine, D at work if he had his " breakfast" in the morning (he has a live in girl friend) his eyes did not light up. No smiles. Not many folks at work know what I mean when I ask about his breakfasts in the morning.

It did not take long to figure out what had happened. I wore my agony uncle cap and explained to him that betrayal and deceits lose their impact when you take a 25,000 ft view of it. That is where the art of detachment comes in. Detachment from everything worldly takes you to a different level of consciousness.

When we go to a new place as a tourist, we go through all kinds of experiences. We meet all kinds of white, black and grey people. We also encounter some sweetest people along the way. These folks unintentionally or by design provide us with what we later call “ experiences”. In the midst of all bittersweet experiences we never lose heart, we never lose hope, as we know all this is temporary and soon we will go back home. That very thought of things and affairs not being permanent keeps you going every day.

That is how one should look at life no mater where you are. Nothing will remain forever. No betrayal will stay longer than you want it to. You will do excellent if you remind yourself that " I am just passing through..."

My 8th grade teacher introduced me to a book called " Himakaten" from Shafiq-ur-rehmaan. In that book he writes that he wants to live his life like a tourist. He wants to observe the life from a distant. I reckon this was his way to safeguard against daily betrayals and shocks.

So next time when someone hurts you very deep…say it to yourself “ I am just passing through” and see the magic work for you.

ps: BTW I am too just passing thru!!!!

Thursday, September 21, 2006


Every year fall brings back memories of the not so distant past. - My student days at Georgia Tech. Those were the days.....yes, those really were the days!

When I was not sure if I would be able to complete my MS. When I had no money - no car - no job, nothing. I remember asking Nagesh Kukunoor to help me buy the basic grocery and he was always happy to pick me up and take me to the Kroger at the Howell Mill Road. I used to buy the " basic" stuff like egg and bread just to get by, to stay alive. Those days a telephone call to India was worth $2.40 a minute. I used to call mom only for a few minutes just to hear her voice.

I do not know if those winters were very VERY cold or I had no proper winter clothing. Those long and cold walks to the class rooms were not that bad as my mind had the sunshine of the future to keep me warm.

Time flew linto the thin air. It always does, and here I am trying to understand where and when did life slipepd out of my grip? Where did all those moments go that were going to be with me forever? Why do I feel it was not worth it? Why does life offers everything but - stability?


zindagi main...

" Apni Zindagi main tum ne kiya kiya? Kisi se sacche dil se piyaar kiya? Kisi dost ko nek salaah di? Kisi Dushman ke bete ko mahobbat ki nigha se dekha? Jhaan andhera tha wahan roshni ki kiran le gaye? Jitni der tak jiye jeene ka kiya matlab tha? " --- Krishn Chandra

Wednesday, September 20, 2006

If you are ...

Keep Going !!!!

Saturday, September 09, 2006


I dunno why but this poem started descending on me last night. It is not complete and it may never be.

Chaha tha bas ik humsafar
socha tha na par ye magar
Woh jab zindagi main aayega
kuch lamhe aise sath layega
jin ke sath jude honge
woh din jin ki shaam nahi hai
raaten jin main chaand nahi hai

in aadhi adoori raton main
in uljhi uljhi baton main
Kaise koi ji sakta hai?
Zahar kiya .................

Wednesday, September 06, 2006

the World is like this....

A dear friend who is a regular reader of my weekly jivings told me not to blame the World. It has been like that for ages. It will be like this when no one would know where my grave is.

No humble - simple human being can get a good deal here. Period. They will sc-- w you at the first available oppurtunity. The opening line of Jagjit Singh ghazal goes like " Sar jhukaoge to Patthar Devta Ho jayega !"

Look at President Jimmy Carter. How many Amercians respect him? He is the MOST human President alive today but he is seen as weak and sissy just coz he did not bombed the hell out of Iran during 1979 hostage crisis. Wolrd by default does not like fair minded - kind hearted- sensitive - humble human beings. This is the truth and you better accept it.

Look around at the Local - Regional - State - International arena and it will not take long to figure out what I mean.

Monday, September 04, 2006


Rashid left for New York yesterday and I am alone once again.

He is an old friend and we have known each other for over 20 years. It was so good to show him around and to catch up on this mess called life.

Initially I was uncomfortable with the thought that he would be with me day and night. I was afraid that soon he would discover my insecurities and battles that I am fighting these days. As the time passed I began to appreciate having him round. having someone in my empty apartment. My lonliness was gone.

No that fast.

Now that he is gone, I am noticing how lonely I have been all this time. Its been ages that I lived with some one. My God - what the hell has happened to me that I chose this life of lonliness. Why lonliness stopped bothering me? Why do I feel at home not having anyone around? I thought I was a very social and exteremly friendly person who could make friends out of starngers in no time.

It is late morning here and I hope to find the answer to these questions.