Lonliness..........

Rashid left for New York yesterday and I am alone once again.

He is an old friend and we have known each other for over 20 years. It was so good to show him around and to catch up on this mess called life.

Initially I was uncomfortable with the thought that he would be with me day and night. I was afraid that soon he would discover my insecurities and battles that I am fighting these days. As the time passed I began to appreciate having him round. having someone in my empty apartment. My lonliness was gone.

No that fast.

Now that he is gone, I am noticing how lonely I have been all this time. Its been ages that I lived with some one. My God - what the hell has happened to me that I chose this life of lonliness. Why lonliness stopped bothering me? Why do I feel at home not having anyone around? I thought I was a very social and exteremly friendly person who could make friends out of starngers in no time.

It is late morning here and I hope to find the answer to these questions.