Tanhaa...

Just got back from work to this empty ---empty ----damned empty apartment for n+5899 times. Some aprtments are destined to be empty I reckon. May be this is how it was meant to be - May be this is better for everyone.

I try to avoid comparison between people, places, cars, houses and yes - years. Each person , each year is so unique and deserves unique and special treatment I think. But some years, by accident or by design break the backbone of your personality. 2006 took away my INNOCENCE big time. I am no more the same Shahid that I was at the begining of 2006, and I will always yearn for that Shahid of pre 2006.

But life goes on and so will mine too. However, I will no longer be able to FEEL for others the way I used to. I will no longer be able to swim against the current irrespective of the consquences. I will longer be able see the World in shades of Grey where one is allowed to even symphatize with killers and murderes. In 2007 I will no be able to have cmpassion for the victim and aggressor both. Its time to take sides now.

I came home and found a book of Insha ji in my library. Here is what he has to say about folks like me.

" Insha ji bahut din beet chuke
Tum tanha the tum tanha ho
Ye jog bajog to theek nahi
Ye rog kisi ka accha ho ??
Kabhi purab main kabhi pacchim main
Tum purwa ho, tum puchwa hi
Jo nagri nagri Bhatkaye
Aisa bhi na man main kataa ho

Aye jogi aye darwesh kawi
Kiyoon umr gawanye ramta ho
Kiyooon tan par rakh bhbaoot male
tu goarkh nath ka chela ho?
Ye purab pacchim kcuh bhi nahi
Ye jog bajog bhi dhoka ho
jo tujh se juda sab maya hai
paa apne ko gar pana ho
kiyoon aur pe jee ko rijhata hai?
ye peet ki reet to phanda ho
Jo haraa jaan se haar gyaa
Jo jeeta woh bhi ruswaa ho?

Dhooni na ramaa bisraam na kar
Bas alakh laag kar chalta ho
Tu apna reh - tu apna ban
Tu Insha hai - tu Insha ho !! " --- Ibne Insha