Flowers

Nature is showering maa with my favorite flowers. She deserves each one of them. Someone is very kind... somewhere...

BTW I always envisioned myself be buried under a Gulmohar tree. This ensures not only shade but also a non stop supply of beautiful flowers. You don't depend on NO ONE to bring u flowers. U live a fiercely independent life, u sleep an independent depth. That's so cool...

Maa 2

I reckon Maa must have had the time of her life watching me chase my own version of the ' The Great American Dream'.

That too on a 4 - seater Cessna Beach craft!!!

The fact that the Governor of the State used to travel on the same plane, is a testimony to the ' The Great American Democracy', but that requires a separate post.

Maa

Maa’s last picture in good times was taken when she was dating my father. That was taken on March 31st 1953.

Then the Indian Patriarchy took over, and a beauty of a woman was reduced to a pale shadow of herself. It would be me who would take her picture in 1982, all thirty years later. ( and I wud take thousands till her last night on this earth)

The hurt and insecurities that are visible on her face in 1982 are because her rights on her husband’s properties were taken away from her. She was betrayed and was thrown out to a 10feet x 10 feet pigeon hole. She

knew she was too weak to fight fight the powerful, so she concentrated on raising had no idea where the next meal is gonna come from – yet she never gave up. She her kids.

That 10x10 room was nothing short of a magic. It used to change its designation from Bedroom to kitchen to Study room to Bathroom to Dinner Room all in the same day…within hours. :)))

When I went to US and learnt the word ‘abuse’ I was shocked. It wud always bother me that my mother was abused by her in laws who ganged up against her.

Once I told her “ Maa you were abused by your in laws”

“My Shahid made if up for it…by sending me for Hajj and showing me the World”. She wud instantly demolish any regrets or anger developing inside me.

I grieve not just a mother but a fine feisty principled compassionate woman.

Gaddar...

Aye jaate Hue Lamhon

Tum Bhi aakhir Gaddar Hi Nikle

Kis Trah Dabe Paaon Aa Kar tum

Mujhe Zindagi Main Uljhaa Kar tum 

Maa ko Maazi Kar Rahe Ho!!

Aye Aate Hue Lamhon

Kar Lo Jo Ban Pade Tum Se

Magar Yaad Rahe

Ek Din Mahobbat 

Maut Pe Bhi Haavi Hogi..

(C) Shahid Parvez Sayed, March 5th 2017

Dhoke Baaz...

In KamZarf Mahollohn Main 

Jahan Taqreeban Sabhi Dhoke Baaz Rehte Hon

Wahan Jab Maut Bhi Aayegi 

To Dhoke Se

Maa...

In Sab Ko Tum

Phir Ek Baar Maaf Kar Dena!

Feb 15th, 2017 2am

Shopping after maa

U go to the supermarket after three months, and as usual pick up something for mom.

Next second it feels like someone just shot ur heart point blank.

Maa not there..who are u buying this for?

There is no one now to accept it with a smile and twinkle in her eyes. No one to tell u not to buy and then read label for what it is and the price on it..

U want to cry but being a grown up u are expected to behave. So u buy whatever and exit the supermarket in a hurry.

(Buying things for her was part of my strategy to make sure she understands that she remains in my mind no matter I go. That she is needed and wanted and loved. When old people feel neglected and not needed, that is when they decide to go - I believed.

I spent all my life letting her know she is needed forever in my life).

Life was never this painful. Never.

Shia _ Sunni, a love story

Baant Ke Apna Chehra, Maatha, Aankhen Jaane Kahaan Gayi?

Phate Puraane Ek Album Mein Ladki Jaisi Maa ....

(Nida)

Nov 1954. She was 19. They had just seen a movie at Super Talkies, Grant Road.. This picture was taken against her wishes. She was a Shia and father was a Sunni. May be she was not sure about how wud this 1400 years old divide wud play in her life.

In those days Shia - Sunni debate was as nasty as it is today. Of course it was minus the suicide bombers. Rest.. ..all mutual hatred, all biases and prejudices were the same.

She hid this picture from everyone. Even lied that it is someone else's. When I found out its hers, I went to town showing this picture and admiring her guts to be a rebel, for following heart. For doing the right thing.

They would marry in 1955.

Her next picture would be taken after a GAP of 25 years, by me.

Since then she remains the most photographed woman of my life.

Always will...

#Maa, #ZubedaSayed, #rebel

Qafan Farosh

Qafan Farosh...

81 saal ki Aurat ko Dafnaa kar

Sab Aabadi Ki Taraf Chale

To Har Shaks 

Us Budhiya Ke Bete ko

Ye Keh Kar Tasalli Dene Lagaa ke

` Kaafi Umr Thi, Mukti Mil Gayi`

`Log Is Beemari Main Ediyan Ragad Ke Marte Hain. Woh Asaani Se Gayin`.

` Budhi Haddiyon Ne Gosht Tak Chodd Diya Tha. Accha Hi Hua`

`Tumhari Apni Family Nahi Hai Na, Warna Takleef Kam Hoti`

Adhed Umr ka Beta

Muskura Kar, Khunda Peshaani se

Logon Ka Pursaa Qabool Kar Raha Tha

Usi Raat

Ek Nayi Geeli Qabr Pe

Ek Chota Baccha Bilak Bilak Kar Ro Raha Tha

`Aye Maa, Tu mujhe kiyoon chodd gayi Maa?`

`Qafan Faroshon Ki Is Basti Main,

sirf Tu Hi Mere Liye Zinda Thi Maa`

` Ab Dekh Main Kitna Tanhaa Hoon Maa`

Aur Kareeb ke Railway Station Pe Der Se Khadi

Local Train ke Pahiyye phir Chal Pade`

Nov 26, 2017

Maa

I want to thank EVERYONE for your support and kind words in the biggest ever tragedy of my entire life. I appreciate your prayers for mom and for my well being.

I don’t know how to grieve and what to expect next. This has shaken every DNA of my body and I don’t know what is waiting for me next. No one is prepared for this day. I have been crying like a baby since I saw her wrapped in that white sheet of clothe.

She was widowed at 41. She raised three children with grace, humility and hard work sacrificing her entire life for the well being of her children. We were her only assets.

She raised us with major difficulties and more importantly prayed for us so that we make something of our lives. It was only her prayers that made me reach from a possible life of a Manual Rickshaw Puller in UP to a Civil Engineer in the USA.

I have met major calamities and survived coz Maa was wind beneath my wing that kept me flying. Now I feel like I have no wings, no strength to face the next day.

Since Maa’s departure I have thought many a times to kill myself and to join her. I have complete faith that, like she saved me in this World, she wud find a way to save me there too.

But I think my mom wud not approve of that move.

So, If u see a 50 year old crying like a baby on the street of Mumbai, in a local train, in a bus, in a graveyard pls don’t worry. I am ok. I am just grieving my mom. Bas. I am just trying to get up and start my life or whatever is left of it.

Because more than anything else, I know my Maa wud never want to see me slip into depression. She wud never like to see me do crazy things with my life.

As far as crying, she was ok with it as she once remarked “First do everything for the dead properly, then you grieve”.

I am just following my Maa’s word like I did for the last 50 years of my life.

Please bear with me.

Maa

On 22nd November, they buried my heart in this grave.
Since then I am a dead man walking, with no heart, heart beat. 
Nothing.

And when the most beautiful n brave woman in the World struggles against old age, and when u realize the limits of medical sciences u feel helpless.

This is when u wanna unlearn all the scriptures of the World, the rules of society and all that good for nothing nonsense drilled in ur brain.

You wanna question whoever claims to be the creator and more, as u don't have the luxury to go on searching for the answers like a Buddha!

#Zubieda Sayed, #Mumbai, #Maa

The day that changed the World..

I don't think any of us wud forget what we were doing on September 11th 2001.

I was the Project Manager on a 8 million dollar project called Jimmy Carter Blvd in Gwinnett County, Atlanta, GA.

My first Independent project as a Project Manager, after I was trained and equipped by my employer in the arts and science of building roads n bridges. It was exciting time to be managing a path breaking project, and I was looking forward to its completion.

The kinds of reception, whistles and applause you get, after removing all barriers and traffic control devices to allow that first motorist to go thru, on the road you just build, still gives me a high.

I had just returned from my graveyard shift and was sleeping when my in-house girl frnd woke me up to break the news.

What we saw brought shock, disbelief, horror, fear and confusion. Like most Americans, I thought it must be a mistake but then the second plane hit and then I knew its more than that.

All day was spend in watching TV and absorbing the images of fear, tears and sufferings. For weeks stories that emerged kept me troubled. I still feel for the guys n gals that chose to jump from top floors...

Our World changed that day for worst.

Soon news stories started showing up of how the Arab looking or Muslims are targeted and humiliated in public places. Fortunately, I was in a great company of frnds and co-workers. Not a single incident that made me feel I am a Muslim or an outsider.

On the other hand when me and bunch of coworkers / hommies were entering a cafeteria, the African American security person stopped them for a check up and allowed me to go without frisking. After I passed thru security, I realized what she did, my humor kicked in, so I went back to her asking

" Hey you did not check me, I cud be a terrorist?"

"Not with that face honey...not with that face....go on..."

That is the American spirit that always rises from the ashes. That is the spirit we need to nurture in each other - if we want the world to not slide in the one way slope of darkness, bigotry and fear.

World can be beautiful again....yes it can...

Khul Jaa Sim Sim...

When I got there, the tea shop was already closed for the night. The staff was standing outside unwinding - chatting.

" Chai khareedni hai"
" Kal Subah 9 baje aayen....abhi to dukaan band ho gayi"

The manager wearing a skull cap and kurta pajama spoke in a matter of fact tone.

"Kal subah hi nahi hogi bhai"
"Kiya matlab?"
"Aap ki chai pee ke meri subah hoti hai......chai nahi hai ghar pe.....suabh kaise hogi?"

The manager, giving keys of the shop to one of his employees shouted
" Aye Dukaan khol"

I smiled. I got what I wanted, and was not surprised. Have done these kinds of acts a million times by now.

In one of the stories of " The Arabian Nights", the prince's path was blocked by a boulder on the mouth of a cave. He recites a mantra " Khul Jaa Sim Sim " and the boulder gives him room to go in and rescue the princess.

Vidyawaan of the world tell us it was not the mantra that opened the mouth of the cave, bu the " Lehjaa" ( the way to speak) that did it.

I could not agree more...

I can open any door, anywhere, any time in ANY country - even in my sleep with my "timing" and "Lehjaa". This magic comes only when one has a transparent heart, a sense of humor and who cares attitude to the outcome.

Despite this a few doors just wouldnt open....

Thats the irony my frnd....thats the fascinating irony!!

Why women are not allowed in Mosques in India?

There are hundreds of other examples I can name where female worshipers were allowed in the mosque like Jama Masjid of Mandu, Feroz Shah Mosque in Hissar, Haryana, Jahan Ara mosque in Agra and Jama Masjid of Chanderi (MP), not to mention in the US all mosques have room for them.

Which genius came up with the idea that Aurat = Gunah in India?

Please enlighten....

PS: My frnd Mirza loved the sight of his then In-house girl frnd looking for him in a vast crowd after Juma prayers.....u feel like a MAN, he says as "she used to ignore everyone else"....LOL

http://scroll.in/article/803090/what-history-proves-indian-mosques-barring-women-is-only-a-recent-trend

Foreign students and evil west...

GA Tech, 1990

It was drizzling when I come out of the Civil Engineering building that night. Since lots of assignment due the next day, I had stayed back to finish them not realizing it was well past mid night...

As I came out of the the college building, the first thing I noticed was rain, and a lonely pick up truck which was passing by on the street. To beat the cold weather I decided to run home. I had barely taken a few steps that I had a mighty fall due to the slippery surface.

It was embarrassing even that late at night, so I looked up to see if the driver of the truck saw me fall. Well, he or she did. The truck had come to a complete halt.

I got up slowly, picked up my books and other stuffs and started to walk. I glanced at the truck one more time. It was still not moving. It is only when I had taken a few confident steps that the truck started to move again....

Later, I realized what really transpired.

The truck driver saw me fall and take a hit. He or she decided to wait on me to see if I needed any help. When I got up and took some steps, the driver realized that am ok and started to move again.

Its been 25 years, and dont know who the driver of that pick up truck was. I dont even know it was a male or a female, and old man or a young dude my age. The only thing I know is that he or she was a human enough to care about well being of a foreign student in his or her country.

This is how "evil west" treats its students....

The link below shows how we take care of them!

Of course, we are the best!!

http://www.mid-day.com/articles/shocking-mob-strips-parades-tanzanian-woman-as-cops-watch-in-bangalore/16923169

"Lighthouse"

Woh Chota Sa Lighthouse Tha Na..

Jise Tum  Ek safar Se Khareed laayin Thi

Aur Jise Tum Ne Apne Kitchen main Sajaya Tha

Kiya Woh Ab

Bhnawar Main Phanse Kisi Maahi Ko

Raah Dikha Sakta Hai?

Zara Dekho to....

(C) shahid Shahid Parvez Sayed​, December 31st, 2015 @ 2:09am

Sadhna and Asha Parekh

Agha jaani Kashmiri writes in his memories’” Sehar Hone Tak’  that when he narrated the story of ‘Love in Simla’ to S. Mukherjee he asked me go and narrate the same to Shami Kappor. He wanted to sign Shammi for the male lead.

And then a college going kiddo with books walked in and greeted them. When Agha Jaani found out that that kid was the son of S. Mukherjee he said ‘ we have a hero in the house, why sign Shammi?”

But he can’t speak a word of Hindi

I will teach him.

That kiddo later came to be known as Joy Mukherjee.

For Heroine, R. K. Naiyyar, another young man from the stable of S. Mukherjee was adamant that he will only take Sadhna else he will not direct the film.

Another one of S. Mukherje protégé Nasir Husian was adamant that he will only make ‘ Dil Dekho Dekho’ with Asha Parekh.  S. Muekhrje wanted Sadhna to be in that film opposite Sahmmi Kapoor.

S. Mukherjee, the producer gave up on both the occasions…..

 And ‘ Dil Deke Dekho’ was made with Asha Parekh n Shammi Kapoor in 1959.

And this is how ‘ Love in Simla’ was made with Sadhna n Joy Mukehrjee in 1960.

Agha Jaani has to say this about Sadhna " Is ki Zabaan bhi saaf hai, dil bhi saaf hair aur hath bhi saaf hai. Tabiyat ki shareef, Dil ki Shareef, Nazar ki shareef - ye apne shikar ko door se shikar karna jaanti hai aur is trah ke marne wala khushi se jaan de deta hai" - Sehar Hone Tak, 1967

I discovered these geniuses during my college days. My frnds used to love Jeetu and Mithun song n dance routines – but I was in awe of these masters for their arts. I used to see these films ‘alone’ at Imperial Cinema matinee show whenever they were shown..

Even today I see films and plays alone…..

'Tumhi Ekla Chalo Re'... to yaron ki hamehsa se policy rahi hai...

But that’s another story!

Sadhna - RIP

When the good looking people that taught us how to ROMANCE go away, that is when it hits you...hits you hard.....what we are up against.....RIP

Nadira.....

" Why u want to do story on me? I am old...lonely and not doing films?

"Leave that to me, I am the director. I will find the story. Aur jahan tak lonely hone ki baat hai to aap ne Ismat Chugtai ko nahi padhaa? Woh Kehti Hain One can be alone but not lonely - as u have a heart for company!". Aap to shaid Ismat Chugtai Se mili bhi hongi...."

Kiya Naam Hai Tumhara, Baaten to acchi kar lete ho? - She asked.

Right then, I knew.... I got her!

That was Nadira and the year was 1996. I was working for Anupam Kher's media company, and we had a show called " Good shot" on air at Sony TV.

I wanted to do a story on her!

Yesterday, while flipping radio channels as I drove home, I came across an old Vividh Bharti interview of her. Here she was, with her unmistakable voice and rare honesty - baring it all. That interview must have been recorded in the 80s or so I think.

She spoke about many incidents and the one that hit me was about actress Meena Kumari and how she died a lonely death. Nadisa said " Un Se sab Cheen Liya Gyaa tha. Tanha Gayin Woh Duniya Se. Main Ne apne Hathon Se Unhen Kafan Pehnayaa tha"

" Main Ne apne Hathon Se Unhen Kafan Pehnayaa Tha!"

I felt guilty for not taking my story on her further than that phone call. I dont know what she thought of me. I hope she understood that I had a boss....

I came home and googled her only to read about her painful lonely death in 2006, exactly 10 years after I had spoken with her. I felt bad, and thought more about her.

Here She was - the star of the 50s. The most sought after actress for a while, specially after Aan. The first actress to own a Rolls Royce.

A woman who had everything going for her at some point of life....died lonely! Just like her frnd Meena Kumari about whom she had spoken in that interview.

" Un Se sab Cheen Liya Gya tha - Tanha Gayin Woh. Main Ne Khud Apne Hath Se kafan Pehnaya tha Unhen!"

In the case of Nadira we dont even know who did Kafan Dafan for her and where she is buried....

PS: Why we make a big deal out of this thing....this small ...short little life of ours?

Just why?

PPS: The reasons I wrote this entry is to overcome the feeling of guilt that I felt yesterday, for not communicative enough with her! I hope she reads this somewhere....and says " Kiya Naam Hai Tumhara...baaten to acchi karte ho?

RIP, Nadira!

What is wrong with Muslims?

This is it: the Saraansh of what went wrong with Muslim community with each passing decade.

The sign in blue, is from Archaeological Society of India (ASI) and says "this mosque and other 6 mosque were built by Khan e Jahan, a Minister of Feroz Shah of "Hisar" fame and his MOTHER!"

The sign in Urdu is from smart people of the Delhi Waqf Board, which replaces the word mother with FATHER!

So who do u trust?

I wud go with ASI version, rather than from a bunch of 15th century loonies. ASI folks are historians whose bread n butter n passion is History. Whereas loonies.....oh well....we all know what loonies do.

Bottom line is this: We know we are F$&^#@ up BIG TIME, if we are afraid to give a dead woman credit for what she did for the community - 700 years ago....