2006 ...

Doosra Kinara - Music

II think Doosra Kinara is the only film in the World that has its music composed by a Harvard educated MBA! Apurva Shrivastava has done a splendid job and it was fun working with him.

I remember narrating the story to him for the first time; and asking him if he could come up with a signature tune with a wailing sound, preferably a fusion of east and western styles. I am very happy to see how he translated my musical vision into a great score. Music is in his blood (literally!) and he has composed awesome music scores.

Above he is with sound engineer Sandeep Savla and Oboe Player Lauren Winterbottom. Sandeep Savla is a Guru himself with two decades of sound engineering experience. He is THE soundman of Atlanta. Lauren is from music school, University of Indiana.

Doosra Kinara - Kristi Hutchinson

Kristi plays Amber Elizabeth Anderson. She is the live - in partner of Sameer. She is an awesome actress and a wonderful human being.
Education: Bachelor in Fine Arts
Industry: Arts and Museum
What is she upto? - that is the Million Dollar Question.

Mullah Luis called..

Mullah Luis called a few minuets ago and wanted to know if " Tanha" meant " Lonley". I said yep and this exchange followed:

Shahid, cut it out man. Why are you so pessimist?
Mullah, How in the World you found time to read my blog on a Friday night and that too in Miami?
Let us stay on the topic. Why are you so pessimits man? 2006 is going to be history in a couple and you again talk of being lonely. You know what lonlines is....imagine being on south beach and without a news man. No front page news, no good news, not even bad news, nothing...am I omplaining man?
Does not sound like it.....that is lonley man... I agree...
Yeah - so stop your sob stories man. You do not know what awaits you in 2007. Do me a favor, will ya....? delete that negative post and write anything else instead...

and he went on and on....so here I am, writting again.
"Hue tum dost jis ke "..as a wise man said.

Tanhaa...

Just got back from work to this empty ---empty ----damned empty apartment for n+5899 times. Some aprtments are destined to be empty I reckon. May be this is how it was meant to be - May be this is better for everyone.

I try to avoid comparison between people, places, cars, houses and yes - years. Each person , each year is so unique and deserves unique and special treatment I think. But some years, by accident or by design break the backbone of your personality. 2006 took away my INNOCENCE big time. I am no more the same Shahid that I was at the begining of 2006, and I will always yearn for that Shahid of pre 2006.

But life goes on and so will mine too. However, I will no longer be able to FEEL for others the way I used to. I will no longer be able to swim against the current irrespective of the consquences. I will longer be able see the World in shades of Grey where one is allowed to even symphatize with killers and murderes. In 2007 I will no be able to have cmpassion for the victim and aggressor both. Its time to take sides now.

I came home and found a book of Insha ji in my library. Here is what he has to say about folks like me.

" Insha ji bahut din beet chuke
Tum tanha the tum tanha ho
Ye jog bajog to theek nahi
Ye rog kisi ka accha ho ??
Kabhi purab main kabhi pacchim main
Tum purwa ho, tum puchwa hi
Jo nagri nagri Bhatkaye
Aisa bhi na man main kataa ho

Aye jogi aye darwesh kawi
Kiyoon umr gawanye ramta ho
Kiyooon tan par rakh bhbaoot male
tu goarkh nath ka chela ho?
Ye purab pacchim kcuh bhi nahi
Ye jog bajog bhi dhoka ho
jo tujh se juda sab maya hai
paa apne ko gar pana ho
kiyoon aur pe jee ko rijhata hai?
ye peet ki reet to phanda ho
Jo haraa jaan se haar gyaa
Jo jeeta woh bhi ruswaa ho?

Dhooni na ramaa bisraam na kar
Bas alakh laag kar chalta ho
Tu apna reh - tu apna ban
Tu Insha hai - tu Insha ho !! " --- Ibne Insha

Doosra Kinara ...

Vikas Plays Sameer Azad, the protagonist, grew up and lost his heart in Northern India...
Location: Atlanta, GA, USA
Education: MBA Finance
Industry: Investment banking
What is he upto? - Buy DVD and find out !!!!

Crying over a Coffee...

I was at a Starbucks on Holcomb Bridge when Mullah Luis ran into me.

Crying over a coffee?
No am not
Why not?
I am cool – Why should I cry?
You are cool? Yeah – that’s right…have you worked on your new year’s resolutions?
I do not wait for the New Year to resolve anything.
You should – but this time I have made a resolution for you.
And what is that?
Yeah and it says, “ I will fight three enemies of mine at all costs”
What are you talking about? I do not have enemies.
This is your biggest problem; you do not see the fucking World, THE WAY IT REALLY IS. You see it with your ideological lenses in which everyone looks like a F***g angel. Look around; here in this place if some folks find out you'r a “Moslem”, they would like to see your ass kicked right away.
You are generalizing people. There are some good people around here!
May be you are right, but I am not wrong either.
Ok – Whatever…
Listen – you have a problem and I am here to help.
Listen Mullah, if you want to help – help me find an actor who can deliver. I am looking for a Caucasian male, 45 years old, for my next film and….
You do not want to know the New Year resolution?
Ok – Go ahead.

Your New Year resolution is to fight three enemies that you have, and they are:
1 – Your f***g Ideology
2 – Your F***g Emotions
3 - your F***g Heart

Don’t look at me like I am some fool. You call me a Mullah for a reason – right? Listen, smart people in this World even capitalize on their enemies to make profits. You on the other hand gets hammered because of these three enemies you carry all over with you.
This is the way I am …
That ain’t is going to cut this time Shahid.
I am sick and tired of your explanations man. Get Real. You know it is so fucking easy to take you for a ride. All one needs is to know the names of a few books, philosophers, film writer/directors and one has to hate right-wingers of all major religions, and you will be a buddy in no time.
Aren’t you oversimplifying it man?
I do not care. All I know is that I see a good guy, who gets motivated because of ideology and emotions, takes up a challenge and comes down here to cry over a coffee…

I am not crying over a coffee…….

(I lied ....)

My First Dream !

My first dream, Doosra Kinara is ready for release. I used my entire christmas vacation to fine tune it and provide sub titles. When my team gets back from holidays, the first busienss of the day would be to decide on a vanue and time for the Premier.

Ye maana ke is Zameen ko na gulzaar kar sake
Kuch khaar kam kar gaye guzre jidhar se hum !

Tarkash Films

Khud se bhi jo main ne chupaye ..

Kin lafzon main itni kadwi itni kaseeli baat likhoon?
Sher ki main tehzeeb nibahoon ya apane halat likhoon?

Gham nahi likhoon kiya main gham ko jashn likhoon kiya matam ko?
Jo dekhe hain main ne Janaaze kiya un ko baraat likhoon?

Kis Kis ki aankhon main dekhen hain main zahar bhare khanjar ....
KHUD SE BHI JO MAIN NE CHUPAYE KAISE WOH SADMAAT LIKHOON?

Kaatil bhi , maktool bhi dono, naam Khudaa ka lete the
Koi khuda hai to woh khaan tha? Meri kiya aukaat likhoon?

Javed Akhtar - Tarkash

and then ....

... and then you learn and learn - with every goodbye, you learn!

Tanhaa...

Tere Baare main jab socha nahi tha ...
Main Tanhaa tha, Magar Itna nahi tha !

Shahid Sayed is Dead ....

(Born during Vietnam Crisis - Died during Iraq Crisis)-RIP

Yeah - this is how I thought it is going to be two weeks ago. I was convinced that my time is up and I will begin a new journey to meet my Lord, to go over the trivialities of life that he had me stuck for this long. But that was not to be, and I am alive but I ain't kicking anything.... there is nothing to kick anyways.

I had this chest pain and headache that started the night my friend and editor Jeff gave me the final copy of my film. And like most of Internet junkies I did my research on symptoms and concluded that this is an impending heart attack. I spoke with my friend L.V. who had a heart surgery two years ago, and who keeps pushing me to buy the stocks of those companies that make heart valves etc, it confirmed my worst fear......and the LIGHTS WENT OUT...

I was done - gone - Dead...well before anything drastic happened. My life changed in a few minutes. I was no longer interested in L.V.s insights on stocks and what MBA can do to my career. I stooped paying attention to all " the good news" and " the bad news" that we run into very often at lunchtime at Georgia State University Campus. I just wanted to die and get it over with. I have been under so much stress lately that any new stress was too much to take.

I went to the Doc and he did EKG twice. He put me on some muscle relaxing medicines and wanted my " blood". It was ironic to see a blonde "good news" nurse taking my shirt off, moving my pant to expose my leg so that she can put the sensors "all over" my body --- Oh how I wished for these occurrences when I was healthy and somewhat alive.....

I was at a Thanksgiving Party one night and I cried after hugging my friend A.S. telling him that I am going to die. Later, N told me that my crying was due to the tablet called " Chill Pill" that Doc had prescribed. I " cleaned " my apartment of any unwanted stuff that folks may discover next morning. I wrote my will and e-mailed it to my friends. I was freaking out thinking what if I die with leg up or hand in a wrong place or something like that. God, that would be so embarrasing - I wanetd to go as I had lived ie. Presentable! Now, I know why marriage is such a needed institution. It gives us a partner to straighten our legs and close our eyes after we are dead. How much that partner contributes towards that death is another matter.

I was sorry that I would never be able to see the leftist thinking of " jiye and jeene do" prevail. I was sad that by dying early I am giving a tremendous blow to my mom and to my friends. I was sad that I would not be able to express my emotions to someone precious that I have been holding for the last 18 years. I was sad that I would not be able to see peace and prosperity in Iraq, Kashmir, Palestine/Israel, Afghanistan, Africa and Chechnya.

I was sad this winter morning fogs that take over my apartment would be history. I was sad that no woman would smile at me when I yield at an un-signalized intersection. I was sad that there will be no one to pick the movie that arrives in the mail from blockbuster every week. I was sad knowing that my first film " Doosra Kinara" would be my last as well. I was sad that there will no more poetry from Javed Akhtar, Nida Fazli and Gulzar.

I was sad that K.S. will no longer be able to sunao me poetry of Rumi, Hafiz and Iqbal. He tried me to take interest in Iqbal and come out of Ghalib and Meer "Phase". I was sad that I will not see T, M, and M become expert lawyers and will not see Adi become a Yale alumni, surely would miss watching Faizan grow and settle in life. I was sad that I would not be able to take flowers to D.... I was sad that I will no be able to see the reactions of A, A, R, I, FK, and S to where my life is going.

The list is long....

But I am alive. Doc discovered nothing abnormal and suggested diet control and aerobics. He says it must have been a combination of stress and a panic attack. Since this incident I have realized how important it is to enjoy every minute of life with family and friends - to be thankful to whoever is up there, for letting me enjoy one more day of simply living.

PS: BTW those "good and bad news" that L.V. keeps talking about during lunch time NOW look more "good" then "bad" !!!!

The only way I know...

The only way I know to see this picture; is to assume that is my mother, soaked in my blood, crying, mourning, thinking about all the pains and sufferings she went thru to bring me up in this World. I am sure like all mothers the only red colors she wanted to see was the red color dress of my wife on the night of the wedding...

Why don't these sufferings come to f****g geedy, unscorplous, dishonest people?

Is there anyone UP there?