Sunday, August 24, 2008

Secured Be-wafaiyan..


I did not realize the difficulty I am going to face transporting new TV to my house when I bought it. So here I was, in my parking lot experiencing what I call an "American moment" which basically means "you are always alone every time - all the time!". Contrast that to an Indian version of it which means " You are never- ever-goddamned ever alone!".

I was about to give a shout at Mullah or Manohar when I saw these two kids approach me. They offered to help me with TV and I graciously accepted it. While upstairs they placed the TV at the right place and before I could thank, they asked for my permission to preach me. They belonged to the Chucrh of Mormon and were on a one year assignment preaching away from home. They go door to door sharing good news about their Lord with "hell-bound" people like me.

I offered them seats, cokes and rapt attention but only on one condition, that they will let me also preach for 5 minutes. They accepted and preached me about their faith and how it began when in 1830, a 15 year old boy named Joseph Smith Jr. (1805-1844), had a visit from Jesus Christ who asked him to start a new church now known as The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-Day Saints (with headquarters in Salt Lake City, Utah -- a state that is now 70% Mormon).

I don't have a yearning for religious change in my life and am not looking for any other outlet for satisfying my need for a higher being. I am completely at peace being a Muslim even though Yaar log from both the sides of the aisle have done an excellent job turning it into some kind of a terrorist cult. I enjoy the philosophical sides of every religion. Give me a religion, any religion and I will find something to rejoice about.

One of my favorite story is that of Ganesha when he along with his brother was asked by his parents to lagao a chakkar of the world in order to get a toy. The brother runs off in a hurry but Ganehsa just revolves around the parents saying you are my world and I have completed the chakkar of my world. How can you beat that for motivation and love? I use this story sometime to the amazement of my audiences to make a point.

When they finished and gave me the Mormon Bible it was my time to preach as promised. And my convesration went like this:

Me: Kids, how old are you?
Both: 15 and 14
Me: What if I tell you that you can receive a half a million dollars 20 years from now...
Both: How?
Me: Just invest you lunch money in a mutual fund for 20 years.

Their jaws drooped and eyes wide opened - as expected.

Me: I am serious kids. Look if you invest $6 dollars, your lunch money into any mutual fund for 20 years you will have a $500,000 in your account. I don't know what future holds for you and what calamities await you. I don't know which woman is going to drop a nuclear bomb in your heart, or who is going to stab in your back and what disease or divorce you are going to pick up when you are 35. Whatever it is, with half a million dollars in your bank you would be able to deal with it...

When those kids were leaving, I could see from their lit up eyes that my preaching did pay off and they may invest in the market to attain future security!

Whenever I share this story with Mullah; I always complain to him that, no one told me this when I was 15 otherwise I would be a millionaire. Every time he asks "was there any lunch money available to you when you were 15?"

Every time I take a deep sigh.....

6 comments:

Syed Hyderabadi said...

hahahaha !!
Yaar! You r just kidding :)
Also .... I could'nt able to write "Raaste khamosh haiN" if I heard this before. Again ... hahahaha !!

Ye manzilen !! said...

I am serious.. Yehi to shikwa hai chicha Ghalib se ke he wrote about heaven, hell and how water is composed of H2O but none about "equity management".

Had he a lilttle hinted on finance front, we would have had shair singing Kaseede with thier love in arms, instead of heart wrenching marsiye!

Jyoti said...

why didn't you tell me when i was 15...????

btw who is the lady in lal joda in the picture behind your heros?

Ye manzilen !! said...

J: I am telling you now and yes you are almost 15 still...

Woh lady: Us ki aankhon ki chamak aur Muskurhaten bata rahi hain ke kisi farishta-sifat bhale manas ki kuch rahi hogi!

Tumhare sawal se kaam karte hue ek ghazal hazir hui....arz hai...

" woh tasveer kisi be-wafa ki lagti hai!"

Peace...

Anirudh 'Lallan' Choudhry said...

beautiful story.. i have encountered a similar story over dis weekend.. will come up with it soon... likhte hue bas aap hi zehen mein ghoom rahe the..

waise aap khairiyat se to hain? ek arse se havent heard from you..bhul gaye hain lagta hai..!

Ye manzilen !! said...

Nahi bhai...Tum yaad rahe. Too muany chaaracters each demanding attention here...bas busy hoon.

I am looking foward to the weekend story. Sohca Idealism ki duniya se jungle ki duniya ka tumhara transition poora ho le ti dekhoon...