Going Home !

It is getting closer and closer everyday - my journey back to India. It should not be a big deal for any NRI like me. In fact this should be an exciting time for some one returning home to be with friends and family. This could be the most satisfying time in ones life - to be with your own people.

Not me. I am terrified with the thought that I will be flying to India in a couple of months. Terrified – because when I came to America 6 years ago I had given up on it. I had burned my bridges with India. When things were going bad for me in America, I remember having late night lonely talk with myself. In those conversations I used to convince my heart and mind that India does exits for me any more. That America is everything I got, good, bad or ugly. There is no turning back. I had remembered a story about a prince who was given a curse that “in the search of treasure, if he ever looks back – he will turn into a stone”.

I never came here in search of treasure – but that is a different story. Nevertless, I kept moving – never to look back.

Six LONG years later it dawned don me that I never left India. India came with me. It hid somewhere in the bottom of my heart and surfaced with a bang. There is no choice now to look back. I want to look back inspite of the fear that I may turn into stone – into nothing -- again.

Couple of months before I go to my home country-

Dutt Saab ...

Its been a week that he passed away but I have yet to recover from my shock of his death.

It pains me to see whoever is up there lets all these " Murderers " live beyond 90s and wait for their next turn to drink blood of innocents Indians - yet this messenger of peace is snatched away from us.

The details of his will is another proof of his greatness. He wished nothing should be named after him not even a postage stamp.

I salute you Dutt Saab for all you did for humanity. Thanks for inspiring me. Thanks for being with us for this long...

Hum to Bachpan main bhi akele the !

Long Days Journey into the night!

Had a long day today. It is difficult to work and write a film at the same time. And these distractions keep coming my way regularly. Folks in India depend on me about what should be done with their day to day affairs.

Monday is a holiday and I might buzz off some place to think and write my rest of the script. And then I will have to get cast and crew together. Fire them up. Script breakdown, equipments, costume, and minimal sets - the list is long.

Creating India over here had been the biggest challenge. Luckily some of my friends have what they call "India Rooms" that they allow me shoot in.

I am getting stressed out...I wish she had stood by me in these times.

Ye manaa..

Ye manaa Ke is Zameen ko Na Gulzaar Kar Sake
Kuch Khaar Kam Kar Gaye - Guzre Jidhar se hum..