Monday, February 02, 2009

Why now?

Siddik bhai,

There is a Quran recitation going on in Mumbai as I write this, so that your soul may find peace in heaven. It took me more than a day to realize you are really really gone.

The question that is botherring me is why now my friend? Why now? Why did you not die when we were expecting it in December of 2007.

After speaking to the doctors and finding out what ails you, I had planned a day to honor you, by doing whatever you wanted. I asked everyone to show up in the morning. The plan was to rent a big van, and go wherever your heart desired. Do whatever you wanted to do...

No one showed up that morning...

We still went ahead with the plan. I took you with me wherever you asked. I  just wanted to see you happy, for when I returned to India in December of 2008, I  felt I would not see you. I  turned my cell phone off, told my family to forget about making any plans, and looked at the world with your eyes that day....

It was sad to see you unable to walk without my help, unable to even open the door of the car on your own. You had stopped riding your bike long time ago. It was a sad sight as this was the man who taught bike riding to many.

You wanted to do three things, and the last one was to see a Bollywood masala shoot out film. You, being a typical mumbai street wala, were a cheerleader for these kinds of movies. I hated it. I lied to you when you asked me of my opinion at the end of the film.

It was your day, whatever you said and did was suppose to be great, as I was not going to see you again....I knew.

But you proved me wrong. You came back from the dead. It was like a dream to see you riding your bike again this December. I thought those damn doctors were wrong and was happy about it. With it, came back the days of fun and nights of sitting by the footpaths of Mumbai discussing everything under the moon. Those cycles of chai, stories after stories of all kinds and colors never used to end.

This time though, I reminded everyone of how I devoted a complete day to fulfill your last wishes and what we did. This time I was honest, and told you how I hated every minute of that movie and had developed a headache. You laughed hard and appreciated my friendship...and more.

And now I hear you are gone in a hurry.

I am crying as I write this, but tell me Siddik Bhai, who the fuck is going to tell me why now? You dropped me home on your bike just two weeks ago , in the wee hours of morning and everything was cool. Why are you dead now? This time you were suppose to live my friend , this time you were going to be with me for a long time...

Why now?

2 comments:

All Talk and No Action said...

Sorry about this...

saima said...

:( :(
may his soul rest in peace.

Hes watching you, and will guide you whenever you need him.
May Allah give you strength to bear the loss.

Saima